Ashley Rowena Comments

Lammastide

2005-11-09T13:45:00.000-08:00

The Four Hallowed nights are key to many of our practices. The calendar of the Ancients was kept by the moons and the tides of seasons. We of the Old Faith still try to mark the rising and falling tides of the year with reverence, for the great year-tides show the greatest image of the ever-moving serpent power. The Ancients saw the year in terms of a great cold-time and a great warm-time that battled a war of eternity; the life and death of the Sun itself being watched with awe. We amongst the wise still track the sun through the sky, and wait for it to move into one of the great star-houses, and to open the gates of the Hallowed Nights, where we may slip through the cracks of dawn and dusk and enter into the Netherworld, there to join the others at the great Sabbatstead on the Meadow. When the Sun enters the House of the Lion, the middle point of the Summer has been reached, and the decline of the light powers must begin. Such is the sacrificial theme of the Red Day, Lammas, Old Harvest Home. The full bounty of the Lady has been reaped, and what is given demands something in return. To ensure plenty will come again, the spirit of the Ellfed God, The Red King, is killed to feed the fields, and his life-giving spirit loses its power and descends into the world below, which is a return the Womb of the Lady which gave him birth in the first place. He will await renewal in the ground, as the seed awaits the breaking of winter to burst forth new in spring. For we believe that from every grave comes a new life. The flesh of the Lord of the Earth is threshed and ground, as the grain, and he is consumed in body and in blood as bread and barley-liquor, so that by his sacrifice we may live on. This is the truest meaning of sacrifice. To die so that others may live is not to die at all. His wake-fires burn high and long into the night and he is mourned by the People, though we know that he must return one day, as must we all, when the arms of death take us.

I Kinda Hate This

2005-11-09T08:40:00.000-08:00

Ok Like You All Know How I Am Like Single Now Right...???? Well YeahI Kinda Hate It Now.... Beucase Like I Dont Have That Guy To Call Any More When I am Scared.. Being Herassed.. (yeah You Know What I Am Talking About Jake....) Or Like When You Just Want Some ONe To Talk To About Something That Is Bothering You..... So Yeah Thi Kinda Of Sucks Butt Now.... I Will Just Have To Deal With It.. But hey At Least I Am Eating Normaly Again And Not Always Feeling Down.. But yeah.. I Am Outie. Toodles

Robertson Goes Too Far

2005-11-07T13:48:00.000-08:00

You know, I like to keep this space light. I like to talk about things I love, the things that make me smile, the things that add music to my life. Kids. Dogs. Babies. Weddings. Fun quirky things. But, did anybody else see this story today? It makes my stomach hurt just to think about it: "Conservative U.S. evangelist Pat Robertson called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, saying the leftist leader wanted to turn his country into "the launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism." Maybe I'm being the alarmist, but when I see a television evangelist--someone who professes to follow the teachings of a person who epitomized peace on this planet--calling for someone's execution, I think something'sgone seriously wrong in religious-TV land. I mean, come on, guys. It's time to get Pat off the air. Somebody needs to check him for early-stage dementia. But in the meantime, please-please-PLEASE call one of the other television evangelists and ask him (or her) to send Pat a tract on forgiveness, on loving your neighbor, on "taking the board out of your own eye before you point out the speck in someone else's." Sheesh. When will somebody overturn the stock-and-gold-covered tables of these horribly mistaken hate-spreading leaders? Is there anyone in a position of authority who can tell Pat his job is in broadcasting and not politics? (No, it's not the same thing.) Okay, I'll try to calm down now. Back to our regularly scheduled programming. I'll go search for something uplifting to write about. [Blood pressure: 130/90]

Survey!

2005-11-07T08:43:00.000-08:00

Well carly wants me to do this survey! GENERAL Blog name = Survey! # piercings = 2, one in each ear # tattoos = none height = 5'4" hair color =brown siblings =3 sisters children = none How old do you look = some people say I look older, but I'm not sure. How old do you act = i don't know, ask other people not me! How old do you feel = geez, I don't knowhow can you feel age? Do you have any pets = a cat LAST... movie you rented = hmm...it was like an episode of Gilmore Girls i think movie you bought = i don't usually buy the movies...my parents buy them song you listened to = Swing, Swing by All-American Rejects song that was stuck in your head = Only Hope by Switchfoot cd you bought = i dunno tv show you've watched = haha...Fairly Oddparents DO... you have a secret crush = maaaaaaybe, like i'd tell you! you wish you could live somewhere else = by the highschool you think about suicide = nope you believe in online dating = nope others find you attractive = how should i know? ask others! you like cleaning = only sometimes, when i'm really bored you like roller coasters = i've never been on one. isn't that sad? i have a deprived life! tomorrow i'm going to seven peaks for the first time EVER. FOR OR AGAINST... long distance relationships = hmm...in between. using someone = against smoking =against! Death penalty = it depends on what the person did, but mostly against i guess. tough question! HAVE YOU... ever lied to someone? = yeah, i think everyone has. ever been in a fist fight? = nope! ever passed out on a street from drinking too much? = i don't drink, and i've never passed out in my life... ever told someone you loved them when you didnt? = nope. ever cheated on a lover/spouse? = how could i? i've never had a relationship ever cheated on a test? = nope WHAT... shoes do you wear most= my tennis shoes, or my flip flops are you scared of = getting kidnapped, spiders, car accidents do you want to be when you grow up =i don't know, there's lots of options! is your least favorite chore to do = clean my room makes you the happiest = making someone else happy, knowing that people care about me upsets you the most = being left out always makes you smile =good jokes,myself doing retarded things, people,others being happy NUMBER... of times I have been in love = none of hearts I have broken = i hope none! of people I can trust with my life with = my close friends...4 i guess of times my name has appeared in the newspaper = a couple times, i'm not sure of scars on my body = i have a lOT of things in my past that I regret = hurting someone i care about by accident of times I told people I loved them today =none today DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... pretty = sometimes funny = again, sometimes friendly = yeah i think so amusing = haha, sometimes ugly = when i'm sick or look like crap loveable = i hope so caring = yeah sweet = yeah i guess sensitive = yep a putz =if this is supposed to say clutz, then yes! mean = only if i lose my temper, but usually no FAVORITE... 6 letter word = i don't know, can't think of one Candy = allllll candy haha Cartoon = anything that's amusing Cereal = reese's puffs, lucky charms, captain crunch Color = green and blue Day of week = friday i guess Season = summer or spring Movie = i have alot Book = too many! TV Channel =i watch abc family a lot PERSON WHO LAST... Slept in your bed with you = no one, but i guess syd but it was on the floor Saw you cry = it's been a while...usually i go in my room and lock the door when i cry Made you cry = lots of people/things make me cry sometimes Yelled at you = it's been a while again, probably my mom Smiled at you =how should i know, lots of people smile at me Kissed you = my mom on the cheek HAVE YOU EVER... Gone out in public in your pajamas = yeah once for play practice with sarah Kept a secret from everyone = secrets about me Wished you were the opposite sex = nope, i don't think so Stolen someones newspaper = haha, no Borrowed something never meaning to return it = nope LOVE Do you believe in love at first sight = sure Most important quality to you in a relationship is = being able to tell each other everything, and being comfortable around each other. Who loves you most =my family and friends MISCELLANEOUS INFO Do you speak any other languages = french, but not fluently Last flavor you tasted = sunny delight Last noise you heard = my typing Last smell you sniffed = cookies! Last meal you ate = i haven't eaten anything today... Last beautiful thing you saw = i dunno Last emotion you felt = happiness Favorite item in your home = my computer, my phone, my camera Worst feeling in the world = regret and guilt FINISH THIS SENTENCE: I Love ... my friends and family I Miss ... my friends in arizona I Wish ...for a lot of things I Hope ... people think of me in a good way I Want ... lots of things I am ... tired I need ...sleep!! I'd rather die than lick ... a spider!! sick!

God

2005-11-06T13:34:00.000-08:00

What the hell does it mean when you dream of a girl yet you wake up yelling your girlfriends name? Hmmmm I'll tell you what....I dunno, I'm just making it up, but i did have this strange dream about Linda tho... can't remember it really. What is the point of this msn spaces thing cuz it sounds stupid and soooo far itis stupid. But since I'm hella retarded I'm gunna type in this thing anyways. Tomorrow my girl comes back from her campthinga- majig. Can't wait, I've been soooo fucking bored since she's been gone. Her birthday's on the fourth; turning 16. Sinceshe came into my life I figured i better work out and take better care of myself, I mean if she wants a guy who is healthy and well strong that is, which she probably definently does. There was a girl from months ago who I deeply carred about, however, she didn't feel the same way about me because she had a boyfriend.She did lead me on though whether she thinks so or not. I waited for her for months andi eventually gaveup on her cuz the stress on me waspractically killing me.I was growing weaker and weaker and I was staring to spit up blood every now and then. Now I'm better since I got away from her and the fact that I got away from the guy who caused like 90% of my stress, my father. Thisbeautiful woman who came into my life has been actually making me feel a lot better. She's apparently giving me a chance unlike the other girl and well it's been a really good relationship by far. The other girl, Samantha, should know that your not going to know who your going to marry right when you see them, it's only after you've started dating them for a while. I still want to be her friend yet it's awkward cuz I used to like her and I don't want Linda to think I'm cheating or trying to cheat for someodd reason. Well enough chit chat for me I needs to go and so I'll talk to myself again on this thing?????... I hate this yet I am still typing. Linda comes back tomorrow!!!

My House & Hotel

2005-11-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

And here are the photos of my first "permanent" residence in Sydney! My house mates Jo & Dave, Adam and Mandi (Shaun left us a couple of weeks ago) are great and thanks to them little by little I start to feel somewhat at home in Sydney, Australia! So darling housemates: THANKS!!!! In the meantime I got a promotion at the Hotel:duty manager! Three days a week I am the face of the Vulcan Hotel, Darling Harbour, Sydney Australia! The other days I make and serve breakfast at the inhouse cafe together with my newest flate mate Mandi, and onenight a week I am on call as thenightmanager... Lekker druk dus! Please check out the house and hotel (www.vulcanhotel.com.au). Dikke kus, Isabel

I guess, I could write?

2005-11-05T13:39:00.000-08:00

Umm.. Nothing really happened today.. I stayed at Jessi'z last night, cause we didn't have school today, but I wish we woulda.. I hate sittin at home all day, there's never anything to do. Well, last night, we went to Girard, to help set up for the comp thing tomorrow, it was pretty easy.. Got to meet Amber (Nicks g/f), she seems alright.. Idk, all she did was talk about Nick.. Alexa was there, she wasnt in much of a good mood I don't think, cause of Randall.. He's bein a butthole to her or something.. I guess he lied *shrugs*. Umm.. We goofed off after that.. and just sat around, and talked.. took a bunch of pictures.. and laughed. Today we got up at 7, and cleaned her room, and went to her grandmas.. then at about 9:30, we went froghunting.. Only found 1, but got covered in mud :) hahaha.. Thats it. Keep on, Keepin On.. Kt

Indie

2005-11-05T08:35:00.000-08:00

The Organ - Brother Grab The Gun here we gotheyre back againlook alive , warn your friendswe are warm and we are safeenjoy it while you can beforethings changewe have got to take cover,brotherwe have got to take cover,brotherlie down in a field if you canlook at the night skyoh, where does it end?sometimes it hurts when youcare about mebut its going to hurt more whenthey take you away from mewe have go to take cover, brotherwe have got to take cover, brotherhere we go againoh midnight knocks!oh explosions!maybe its all made up in our headsthis happens to me when im boredor depressedhere is the best part of the songwhere i admit that i might be wrongbecause if they are good and ifthey are rightthen theyll have their rapture oneof these nightsbut if they are wrong... TLWTT

56.

2005-11-04T13:32:00.000-08:00

"i haven't seen you in forever!" she exclaimed outloud, climbing into a car laced with a handful of memories& priceless moments. the air was thick due to the humid, august weather, but the windows stayed down. their hair became scattered& frizzy as a clammy breeze took it's damp fingers& glided through their sun-kissed hair, which was tied up in ponytails, but somehow managed to fall in front of their glowing faces. these glowing faces, so full of life& energy. it was an unattainable force that seemed to create its own vacuum, sucking up the positive, but discarding the negative. there was this strange comfort to know that the person that was sitting next to them just understood perfectly without muttering a single word. before the sun had decided to rest, the drive they took through the country seemed to magnify the world in such a way that the passenger didn't know whether to a) cry because she felt so elated to a degree of bliss, because finally! life just seemed throw itself together in her head, answering all these questions that dwelled in the depths of her subconscious for months, or b) just smile because the sky was painted with pinks& blues& purples and there wasn't another soul in the universe who could replicate the array of color& beauty it was layered in. it was a masterpiece, hanging above their heads. but she sat still, her eyes on the horizon& whatever else caught the corner of her eye. the other had her eyes glued to the road that seemed to stretch& stretch, until maybe distance could be another word for growth. they let the music drift through the car, up& above their heads, through the entire convex of the car, rattling through their ears, and floating up to pierce the sky with soft bass lines& delicate voices that became etched into their memories. the passenger graced the edge of the blue/gray car, her fingers gently flowing as the breeze sent them adrift. catching pockets full of air, tracing the outline of the sun as it dipped beyond the horizon. then they entered town& it was magical. she then reached for the city lights that made everything seem so full of energy, a marquee to remind the world to wake up, you're alive. breathe. the other girl kept her hands on the steering wheel, safely coasting around the outskirts of town, gliding in& out of the city at the most perfect times, it seems. the music pumped& pumped, their skin layered with sweat& laughter, their voices hoarse from screaming at the top of their lungs, their faces still glowing even with the awful yet comforting humidity that made their cheeks& foreheads shine, their eyes full& bright, lively& jubilant; it was all contained in this car. the streets they drifted in& out of seemed to welcome them, inviting them to spark some life into this neck of the woods, where the neighbors sat outside& listened, just wanting to hear something else that they've never heard before. half the time there was silence, but the other half was composed of chewing each other's ear off, confessing, spilling, talking, venting, wanting, needing, asking. they ended the night with life wrapped around their fingers, understanding this beautiful tragic thing we've all been given to make the most of. they thanked each other for an amazing day. it was priceless, all& all. she stepped out of the car& said, "i'll talk to you tonight probably." and closed the door. but oh, how she wanted to just get back in& spend another few hours driving around town with the music up, the windows down, to let the air just wrap around them like sheets, and to flirt with that incredible itch for life that seemed to be impossible to scratch. but somehow, they seemed to grab at it& it was so easy to hold in the palm of their hand; it wasn't like the horizon, where you just reach& reach but can never touch, yet you keep trying because you know once you do, maybe everything will be better, maybe things will look up, maybe life will be beautiful. but tonight, it was different. life just was, and that was enough. and that's all it ever should be.

walking alone

2005-11-04T08:45:00.000-08:00

AS I WALK DOWN THE STREET IN A MOMENT OF LONELYNESS I FIND THAT I AM NOT REALLY ALONE...THAT THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WITH ME ... RATHER IT BE A MEMORY OR IT BE GOD WICH I KNOW HE IS ALWAYS THERE ...WHEN I THOUGHT I COULDNT HANDLE THINGS THE WAY THAT I KNEW THEY SHOULD BE HANDLED.I DO KNOW THAT WHEN I DONT LOOSE MY FAITH AND AND WHEN I DONT FORGET TO PRAY ABOUT THINGS THAT GOD ID THERE AND WHEN I DO FORGET TO PRAY HE IS STILL THERE KNOWING MY NEEDS AND FORGIVING MY SINS...HOW CAN WE WALK THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT FAITH AND PRAYER AND UNDERSTANDING THAT THE REASON WE ARE HERE IS CAUSE JESUS DIED FOR OUR SINS AND WE ARE GODS CHILDREN RATHER WE CHOOSE TO BELIEVE OR NOT WE ARE STILL HIS CHILDREN..... THINK ABOUT IT THIS PPLACE WE CALL AMERICA WHEN THEY TOOK THE PLEDGE OUT OF THE SCHOOLS WENT TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET.... I KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO DO AND I HOPE YOU ALSO DO THE SAME ....CALL YOUR SENATOR AND CONGRESS MAN AND PLEASE ASK THEM TO ALLOW THE PLEDGE BACK IN THE SCHOOLS... AND ANOTHER THING I HAVE HEARD IS THAT THEY ARE TRYING TO PASS A BILL SO ANYONE CAN BURN THE AMERICAN FALG ANYTIME IN ANY FASHION THEY WANT... THAT IS OUR NATIONAL SYMBOL AND WHAT THEY RE SAYING IS THAT ITS JUST A PIECE OF CLOTH AND MANY PPL HAVE DIED FOR THAT FLAG,DEFENDED IT WITH HONOR AND THEY WANT TO JUST TURN IT INTO A PIECE OF CLOTH COME ON PPL WHERE IS OUR SENSE OF PRIDE OUR SENSE OF LOYALTY THE ONES THAT FOUGHT AND HAVE DIED AND THE ONES THAT HAVE FOUGHT AND SURVIVED DID IT FOR THE REST OF US SO WE COULD STILL BE FREE AND HAVE THE RIGHTS WE HAVE WHAT IS THE COUNTRY COMING TO...NOW DONT GET ME WRONG I AM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN AND I HAVE KNOWN MANY PPL THAT HAVE FOUGHT IN OUR WARS AND SOMETHAT DIDNT COME BACK AND THE ONES THAT CAME BACK DIFFERENT CANT WE ALL STAND TOGETHER AND DEFEND OUR NATIONAL SYMBOL AND BRING THIS COUNTRY BACK TO WHAT IT ONCE WAS SORRY FOR THIS BUT I STILL BELIVE IN ONE NATION UNDER GOD THAT IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS BUILT ON AND CAN YOU HONESTLY TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.......WE ALL NEED TO STAND TOGETHER AND BRING IT BACK... MAYBE IM WRONG FOR THIS... BUT IN KNOW THAT I LOVE MY COUNTRY AND THE FLAG AND I GET CHILLS EVERYTIME I SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AND WHEN I SAY THE PLEDGE ..... IM URGING YOU TO BELIEVE JUST AS MUCH AS I DO THAT ONE PERSON MAKES A DIFFERENCE I AM HOPING THIS MAKES A DIFFERENCE

Skool, Skool and more Skool!

2005-11-03T08:43:00.000-08:00

Skool!! tomorrow I have P.E. and that sucks a lot. U C we're getting ready 2 do d mile run. Wich is 5 laps around the field. And the feild is big!!! I hate P.E. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It sucks a lot. I hate it a bunch. I have trouble running. With 1 lap I am so out of breath. I wish it would rain but I know it won't. I wish I could skip it but I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GUMBIGRLSIS*****

hmm...its been a while..lol

2005-11-02T13:31:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't wrote in this thing in a while so I'll just sum things up: Monday: work..went to get my tb skin test...went to my night class Tuesday: went to class (went to the wrong class..lol, yes I know, I'm a dork!), Tuesday night I ran two miles.. Wednesday: went to get my tb skin test read...hmm..went to church then ran three miles.. Thursday: went to class (the right one this time!)...went to work Friday: slept til bout 9:30..went to Mayfield....went to my NAA class for about two hours..came home..went back to Mayfield...went to Carlisle County Fair.. Saturday: went to work...washed my car..and I think I'm fixin to go out w/Lauren, but I'm not sure..lol... Yes, I know such an exciting week..lol..not really..well, later, I'm out!

A Typical Day In The Life...

2005-11-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, so Juliana has challenged us to record a typical day in our work routine, so I thought today I would attempt to do this in near real-time. 7:30Arrive at work, grab coffee, and read NY Times online 7:55 Officiallystart working 8:00 Begin checking and responding to morning emails 9:15 Put together cost proposal for prospective customer and email it to them 9:30 Call several prospective customers in central time zone 9:50 Check new RSS feeds in Newsgator 9:55 Unexpected conference call with customerproject/evaluation team 10:15 Call several prospective customers in mountain time zone 10:45 Call Susan (my boss) and discussed a webinar we hosted yesterday and strategized about a potential contract expansion for one of our consortium customers 11:30 Call my parents to see how my fathers surgery went 12:00 Call our Boston office to check on implemenation details for new government customers who might act as potential references 12:15 Check with our DigiTool product specialist on open travel dates in September and October 12:30 Check with our MetaLib Support Manager to answer questions posed during the unexpected conference call this morning 12:50 Check email .. and saw that the Boston office is now having a party :( 12:57Wrote all of this down here 1:00Lunch 1:30 Update Salesforce.com with notes from this morning 2:00 Create PowerPoint presentation on the electronic journal browsing/searching available in both SFX and MetaLib 2:45 Call potential customer and setup meeting and product demonstration for SFX in early October 3:15 Email 4:15 Call current customer to discuss their experience going through the implementation process for SFX. 4:30 Call prospective customer from early this morning to see if there are any unresolved issues 4:45 Email product feedback and competitive info to our product managers 5:00 Update Salesforce.com & setup tasks for tomorrow 5:30 Compile list of reference sites for prospective customer to be sent out tomorrow

Food for today

2005-11-01T13:46:00.000-08:00

I got up this morning and ran 2 miles and walked about another 1/2 a mile, maybe more. I got off to a good start and hope to get back on track today. Breakfast: 1/2 cup Bran cereal--180 4oz. skim milk--40 half of a small banana--50 and the usual coffee w/ cream and sugar (can't give it up!)--110 I brought a snack of 1 cup of carrots--50 and the dip I made with yogurt and light mayo and dill--21 lunch will be ostrich--140 mashed potatoes w/ yogurt and skim milk--130 100% whole wheat roll with butter--175 afternoon snack was crackers--80 and creamy light swiss--35 That didn't leave much for dinner, but it didn't leavemuch of an appetite for dinner either So, I had a fruit salad and a glass of water--100 a chocolate maringue cookie(ask me for the recipe)--36 that gave me a daily total of 1147

Suan NongNuch

2005-11-01T08:39:00.000-08:00

on da way to rayong..we stopped by one place called 'suan nong nuch'' in the south pattaya.. 'suan' means garden..and 'nong nuch' means..well i dont know..it's kinda a typical thai name for gals..i think it might be the name of the garden's owner?..just guess though :p they claim thier garden as a botanical garden..yeah..it is..but..it just seemed different from other botanic gardens i have been to..anyway..it's still owned by thai..so..im proud again..hehe we'd been stuck there for few hours..having some bloody undelicious lunch...nong fuse..my neicewas glued to the new playmates..all were strangers but who cared..(-_-")..she refused to try our lunch but ice cream..melted one..seemed like she didnt know how to get rid off that ice cream properly... well..it was about to be raining again..so we all suddenly pop in the car and kept going on our way...

long day

2005-10-31T13:48:00.000-08:00

its going to be a long day i can it coming because it is going to be hot out wich means crowded and alot of stuped people wich means me in abad mood. but at least i can see dorothy tomaorw most likly.

Peachy

2005-10-30T13:40:00.000-08:00

Corinna introduced me to this moisturizer that smells SO GOOD! I literally have the urge to eat it, because it smells EXACTLY like fresh peaches. It's supposed to be a facial moisturizer, but you can use it for the rest of the body too. The great thing is that it's not greasy too, so it's one of those facial moisturizers that I don't mind actually putting on my face! Anyway, the brand is "Kiss My Face", Peaches and Creme scent, and you can find it at London Drugs (I still can't figure out why there aren't any London Drugs's in Windsor!). You should definitely try it! (and no, they're not paying me to plug their product)

Welcome!

2005-10-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Welcome to my space! I've wanted a place of my own for a while, so when I saw this, I signed up for it right away. Something you might want to know is that I've set this so that only people I choose can view this page. So if you want to give this URL to someone else, please check with me first! Thanks! Hopefully I'll keep this as updated as I can and add photos and anything else I can. So ya, if there is anything to look at (I have a fairly busy weekend so I don't know how fast I'll be able to get this really up and running) take a look! Enjoy!!

I'm Gonna Be ok!! I PROMISE!!

2005-10-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

Well i guess the only thing i can say today is that all good things must come to an end sometime. Unfortunately my ending was last night!! But it's ok. I'm gonna be just fine. Im not gonna let one guy upset me......I HATE BEING SAD! So i decided that im not gonna be!! C ya'll lata!! always and forever, Jordan

Life is taking me apart!!!!

2005-10-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

STUPID COMPUTER IS SOOOO SLOW THAT I COULD CRY A THOUSAND TIMES OVER A DEAD CAT. GRRRR msn messager WONT come up no more so i gotta work on that... thanx for the comment kristin i will try to change my occupation and btw kristin im sry for me gettin off msn messager the other night it shut i gotta take a look at it..... hehe my kitties are laying on the conter and table lol ill get a picture put up of that :P btw my camrea battery is up so i can try to get more pictures up on here, i was taking a look at my friends page and she has pictures up of her friends(check her page out its kristins) anyways i was like whoa i dont have barly anypictures of my friends so i decided to find some of them... :P so im uploading them up some time...and i have more of me too ;P lol well i guess i betta go and try to do all that and kristin i will call you maybe sometime tonight if i find your number, cant remember if its 766 or 762. anyways later yall and the comments keep them coming Stephanie-Billy Jean lol

Digital Camera

2005-10-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

It was duringmy last trip to Hawaii (Hawaii 2004)that I upgraded my Olympus D-510 2.1 megapixel digital camera to an Olympus 5-580 4 megapixel. I thought the pictures taken with the D-510 were great, but the detail and resolution from the D-580 were spectacular! The reason I bought the Olympus 5-580 is because I wanted a camera with better resolution but didn't want to have to spend tons of time learning new camera menus. Being in the same series the D-510 and the D-580 have nearly identical menus. So after spending 2 hours looking at different cameras, I bought the 580 and headed up to Diamond Head to test it out. I love it!

happy day (makes a change!)

2005-10-26T09:37:00.000-07:00

well well well, today is a good day for many reasons... 1. i found out im DJ-ing 2 full saturday nights at the end of the month at rhythm station so thats good as well im immense lol! 2. i get paid in 3 days time which means i can go shopping and buy lots of stuff, but i dont know who with as katy has had to decline my offer as shes a poo head 3. i am tired which means i might get to sleep before midnight which wud be extrememly good as i aint been gettin to sleep till way after 3am 4. even though the last week has been pretty up and down my head is now screwed back on and all is good so "wahoo" to that 5. im gonna be a drunken funky monkey on friday as im bringing a big bear 6. staff do is on sunday so im gonna be very drunk but also footy is on and watchin it on the plasma with a pint of warsteiner in my hand will go down very nicely and finally...(yes uv probably stopped readin but i like to con myself into actually thinkin u do give a damn and read this shit...so finnally... 7. results day is in 10 days which means i can finally find out my results and get drunk over whatever they are. in other news the last episode of sugar rush is on tomozo so il deffo be watchin that (again as i saw it on E4 last week tis so good), so looking forward to that, but i might hav to tape it coz i think im working jazz night again...wooo old people and jazz music....just wat u need in ur life...not. well its ok they'll all die soon. oh and one more thing, if u do come on here and browse through my pics or even read this tripe that i type please leave a comment, even if its abuse as i know alot are into abusing me (that sounds a bit weird), so anyways leave a message tis always appriciated.

you dont know me

2005-10-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

you think you know me. you dont really know me. what you know is the shield i erected a long time ago to protect me from people like you. i stayed in your shadow, content to follow you around. i thought one day maybe you'd turn around and notice me, but you never did. you held your head high and i was so proud of you, even though you didn't know my name. i wanted to be just like you. you made good grades, you had every guy in school wrapped around your finger. the teachers adored you, and the kids at school would have asked for your autograph just because it would be worth something to you. after months and months of idolizing you, i realized you weren't everything you looked like you were. you were cold. i dont think i ever heard you say a nice thing to anyone. you hurt people. if someone came to you with their problem, you would shun them. the day i realized that, was the day i stopped living in your shadow. that was the day i stopped wanting to be like you. when i stepped out of the shadows, you weren't there to greet me. you were off breaking someone ese's heart. and when you finally did notice me, my heart didnt' leap at the chance to be your friend. i didn't want to be hurt like you'd hurt so many other people. observing someone can let you know so much about them. and i know too much about you. and if its not how you really are on the inside, i dont care, because the way you act says more to me about you than the way you speak or dress or talk or brush your hair. i stopped living in the shadows of people and you wanted to talk to me. i let you think you were my friend. i'd seen you do it a million times, i know the right things to say and i know just the right movies to make. when the day came for me to hurt you, i couldn't. because i'd watch you hurt so many other people. i couldn't hurt you. even though you had hurt so many other people and even when i held that against you, i didn't want to hurt you. so now, you still think you are my friend. and you may know my shield very well, maybe even better than i do. but you will never know me. as long as you are hurting people, i will keep my shield up and i will protect myself, and others from people like you. maybe one day you'll come erect a shield and stand beside me and i can let you know me and we can protect the world from people like you. but for now, im content to let you think you know me. and when the day comes when you think you will hurt me, you wont. i will not be hurt because you dont matter to me. you dont know me. you never will. -Tildy, copy right 2002. http://www.Stories.com

Agustiny

2005-10-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

holaa gente!! buenoo aca estoy yoo.. bueno mirenn las fotitosss q ven aca.. y si qieren dejen su mensajee!!! buenooo emmm saludos para todoss mi amiguitosss...!! los amooo y para toda la gentee =P AGUSTINY

LIVE 8 ,my comments

2005-10-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

LIVE 8 was GREAT! great ppl there,great voices,loads of emotional moments................. and specially the beautiful idea of joining so many artists all over the world to fight against poverty...... music against unfair things in this world............ but i must say that the best moment was when our brightest star went to the stage!....... mister robbie williams was absolutely BRILLIANT!the best of the best!....... david beckham presented him saying so cool words....he said he was robs fan and he felt proud for presenting him.......... and after that,real magic began!.......... rob appeared on stage with a joy with no limits!he sang "We will rock you",and he really rocked!he sang "Let me entertain you",and he really put 200 000 ppl bouncing and singing!he sang "Feel",and he really gave real love to all those ppl there and to those who was waiting for him all over the world!he sang "Angels",and he really touched all ppls hearts! he even decided to go to near the audience to feel all the love that was there........... he was the BRIGHTEST STAR in all that event............ and he was so happy there!i felt it......i think rob misses the moments when hes on stage and when hes loved by so many ppl......... he gave us all his heart..........he was AMAZING!................. god bless u rob....... and one more thing..............WE WILL ALWAYS BE WITH U!.......... i created an album where ive some pics about this great event........... the brightest star

Heart to Hearts and Cousins Kick Butt

2005-10-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

So last night, out with the cousin Kayla again. Stayed at her house last night. At about 8 we decided to have a heart to heart. Just about everything, childhood, growing up, guys, friends andthing that was brought up. She really got me thinking about the future. You know how people say that guys come and go but friends are forever. Well I dont know about that. Either I didnt know how to pick friends for a long time or something. Because I know that I thought that a few years ago I had great friends but shit, they dnt even give me the time of day unless they want something now. But you know what one thing that is going to be in your life forever, your family. You cannot replace those people, even though at times you may want to. I mean damn, when we were little me and Kayla did everything together. I can remember trying to burn down the shop, flooding the hot tub room, getting into and out of trouble was always something that we were good at, and still are. So yeah, cousins kick ass. I love the girl with all of my heart, I havent told her that in a long time, but it was said last night. She really made me realize that I do have alot to offer this world. And also, that I need to thank someone who was there through alot of stuff with me a year ago. This person doesnt know how much they helped my life. Kayla has to be my favorite cousin, shit shes my other sister pretty much. Yeah we do stupid shit but thats the best part, when we can sit and laugh at it the next day or when ever. Like last night going rollerblading at like 10:30 wasnt a smart idea, and Kaylas knees prove that. But you know what, when we woke up today we laughed our ass off. And eating ham sandwiches, ABC soup, and honey and bread at 3 am was just plain goofy. But damn, I am so glad that Kayla and I are hanging out alot again, even if SOME people dont like the idea of it. I just dont get how some people can operate on having just one friend, I just couldnt do it. Ok, so I should really get to work....

Saturday, the 9th

2005-10-23T14:39:00.000-07:00

Not much happening around here today. Hubby had to work this afternoon, but he was happy to go in. We're supposed to go see "War of the Worlds" tomorrow with Mr. & Mrs. Hammond. If Maggie will sit still, I'm sure we'll enjoy it. Well, that's really about it for the day. Nothing worth telling about. (Can you believe I, of all people, have nothing to talk about today?) Don't pass out!! lol Love & Light - til next time, Julie

i'm bk from Galeena and it ROCKED!!!!

2005-10-23T09:29:00.000-07:00

hey whats ^? Galeena was sooooo awesome(i might spell it wrong but w/e) i went with Michelle and Melissa and they invited Kelsey too. last night/this morning was awesome cause we stayed up till 5:30 in the morning just talking!!!!it wazzz crazzzy!!!! and i still don't believe what i said then!!!!!and they can't tell what i said and i cant tell what they said cause were sworn secrecy!!!so dont ask um or me!!!wow so much stuff 2 tell u all bout from Galeena. like at the laundra mat 2day i got all weird and was all watching the washing machine go in circles!it was amusing.lol and u know we got all really weird at Dick's the grocery store!lol ummm ya well we kinda went there 3 times in one day!!!! and we looked at the horse that was one of thoughs machine things. and it was only 1 cent!!!ya!!!! and sooo we were just at first joking around about the horse and riding it than the third time when we went in the store we brought our pennies and melissa and kelsey were 2 embressed to ask the lady at the redgister what the wieght limit was on the horse. so i convensed Melissa 2 go with me 2 the lady. and i ask her how much the weight limit was on the horse and i look bk 2 smile at Melissa and she's gone and im like CRAP!!! and im like Melissa OMGSH!(i said that outloud 2!) and the lady at the register ask the other ladies how much the weight limit was on the horse thing and all of them look at me and give me the wierdest look and i'm like sooo embaressed. and they laugh and r like well it doesnt say one but adults go on it all the time. and im like ok. and i go and tell kelsey and melissa we can ride it. we finally convensed kelsey 2 go first. but she wouldn't go after she put her penny in. so i was about 2 get on 4 a sec. so she would get on and it stops. so i put in my penny and get on and all these adults and people in the Grocery store just stare at me like what the heck whats that freak doing!!!!! and so than Kelsey and Melissa got on after me. but Michelle was 2 chicken 2 get on!!! Michelle!!!!we ended up taking a picture (not with my camera) with us and the horse.lol ya thats one of the funny stories 4 ya so check out my new photo album!!!!

VIEWER ADVISE (READ ME)

2005-10-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

VIEWER ADVICE: My Fotolog Pictures - Due the graphical nature of this web site, viewer discretion is advised - This Space is not affiliated with any organizations, religious/ethnic groups, or any other kind of groups... The content in thisSpace can be sensitive forsome people, and it is orientedfor entertainment purposes only, taking it with extreme respect and responsibility. Please, feel free to submit your comments, thoughts or whatever you wanna say Once again I Welcome you to this new Space property of the President of the United States of America, Gonzalo R. Yagci

glass

2005-10-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

wohaaaa... feel annoyed!!! jus write long blog...an then...cannot publish! all lost!!! siah....now mus type again??? never mind lor... i write again.. different ...better also ah...??? so...i walk down street,an suddenly get somthing in my eye.... so i trying very hard lor, to get it out, only cannot! soo i walking along, half blinded, and bang! shiok!!! i walk into light pole....i very embarassed meh....look around to see if neone see/laugh... then when see no one...laugh to myself.... aiah....later can???.....more later.... jus wanna write, will be sneaking out early on friday ...4.30... ah...wan to support friend...nah wht rubbish!...jus wanna see guy i like bah! an gonna think of something to change hair.....need different hairstyle!!!! an need to think of something to wear....desperately!!! an need to do laundry... got only 5 shirts left!!! need to take photo.. need to buy dinner... need to do work!!! need to read more and decide abt business,,,,, siah... jus thought... have been told i'm introspective... have been told i'm intimidating... siah!!!! conflicting..not??? hahaha... lousy siah! very lousy life...

My Schedule

2005-10-21T14:40:00.000-07:00

1st Block - Honors Pre Cal 2nd Block (1st Semester) - AP Biology 2nd Block (2nd Semester) - Hon Adv Topics Biology 3rd Block (1st Semester) - Honors English 3 3rd Block (2nd Semester) - Computer Applications 4th Block (1st Semester) - Animal Science 1 & 2 4th Block (2nd Semester) - AP Spanish 4 5th Block -AP American History

first time

2005-10-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

ok so even tho i wrote this poem b-4 i actually experienced any of it.. i say it was so much better...but now i can relate to it I feel the world spinning, my heart thumping i feel,That movement in my chest, each thump as it should be, vigorous and loud, The butterflies flying around as they make my insides tickle and leap with excitement,My head twirling as it tries to react to everything that happened, or trying to gather my thoughts,My lips moving without making words, my eyes fluttering, trying to make sense of what they see,My knees shaking as they try to hold me up, my arms stiff, I can't move,My body warm, I'm red at the face, and all the way down to my toes,The ambrosial taste of Your lips, or the scrumptious smell of Your cologne, ot the warmth of Your arms around me,This moment, our first kiss, in where You and I are the only ones on the face of this earth,The planet belongs to thetwo of us, a moment we share of pleasure, passion, and love,Standing, or at least trying, as teh world spins beneath our feet.

Some of my Internet haunts...

2005-10-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

I thought that people might be interested in seeing where I tend to lurk on the Internet, plus some other additional information sites about me. Well, here we go... Shakjula's Hi5 Page: http://www.hi5.com/i?l=5GLGAPQ Shakjula's Favorite Chatroom: http://groups.msn.com/PeepingSalamanderstheTrue/ [Note: If you're interested in checking it out, you'll have to request membership since this room is restricted. Peeping Salamanders is bit on the raunchy side of things, so be prepared.] Spookavich's Catster Page: www.catster.com/?128472. Make sure you leave Spook a treat and some paws. He's such an attention whore these days.

Happy Fourth Of July!

2005-10-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

Today is July 4th! I didn't go to any events today because there was nobody to take me there. I might be able to see some fireworks if I stand on the roof, however. I'm still not doing anything in the near future, but my house will be going up for sale pretty soon. Well, that's all I have to say right now. ---- I went outside and walked a little bit to see the Carrollton show. It wasn't nearly as good as Addison's show. I could only see it a little bit because Blalack was in the way. After the show I noticed that many people were shooting off illegal fireworks. They can face a fine of up to $2,000. Happy Independance Day!

lots to talk about

2005-10-19T14:41:00.000-07:00

lots has been going on. and there is too much for me to write first there was the fair. it was good and really fun i actually went on some rides! which was odd but i never do but i found my fav ride and that would be the tilt a whirl. it was pretty good. ...(not i didn't do that, unlike my sis i was pround) Next would be Goat Girl's sleep over. that was more than interesting it included her jacking off with a flash light. Spiderman consuming almost a can of whip cream and putting it on whatever she could find. wierd conversations... phone addictions....just plan goofing off. and to top it all off a walk up the hill to watch the sunrise.... that was more than priceless! it was beaitful and that would deffinatly be an understatement!!! words couldn't describe it.... ( i think i saw a movie somewhere in there) LAST (so far) we went to a lake and went tubing it was lots of fun except unlike most grandparents my grandpa speeds!!!!! and i mean he go fast!!! he made my sister flip twice and me flip once. i was proud of myself.he pushed us in a few times though but i wouldn't count that. if anyone knows what "pulling cookies in your car means" than you'll know what i'm talking about when i saw my grandpa waas puling cookies at the lake. while pulling us he did countinous circles without slowing down!! now me and my sister are so sore it's hard to move. but we wanteed to go back as soon as we had to dock. so we're going back to the lake later this week!!!! that's it so far but i hope highschool girl's condictioning for soccer starts soon!! and Spiderman plz go through it with me!!!! you are good and if i can make it so can you!!!! u !!!!! and you're good you can do it!!! LOVE LOVES, Brandee

Tonsils

2005-10-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

Ok having ur tonsils out really really sucks! Well i guess not so bad because u get to stay home for a week, which still sucks because i don't get to see my friends and i miss them a lot. Everyone thinks that oh ur soooo lucky u get to sit home for a week and eat popsicles well ya know it really hurts to eat or drink so its not so great to eat popicles and i'm getting sick of them anyways. I bet whoever had ther tonsils out before knows what i'm talkin about. Whooo- --eeee i get to go garage saleing with my mom today. If you all think that is fun. Well it sorta is and i'm sorta glad because at least i don't have to sit at school and listen to all the dumb teachers. That is about the only fun part about having ur tonsils out! Well now i have to go take some my great tasteing medicineOh ya and ps. thanks carley and friends for the presents and flowers. See ya later em

Explosions yet again...

2005-10-18T09:45:00.000-07:00

Another set of terrorist attacks happened today in Egypt. The attacks took placenearan Egyptian Red Sea resort killing at least 88 people and injuring over 200 Egyptians and tourists. It is the largest terrorist attack in Eygptian history to date. Apparently, a suicide car bomb drove into thetourist-laden resort running into a luxury hotel and coffee shop. This attack is only two days after the latest London bombings; however, Egypt is not the only region which experienced explosions today. In Santiago de Compostela, a busy Galician region of Spain, a bomb exploded outside a regional savings bank; luckily no one was injured, but police officials say the attacks are linked to Galician rebels seeking independence from Spain. Police officials also told reporters they were not surprised by the attacks, and that they actually expected them. Isn't it sad that we go through our lives just expecting these terrorist attacks to happen? It's like they have become the norm in our everyday lives. It seems whenever I turn on the TV, jump in the car and turn the radio on, or go on the computer, someone, somewhere has endured some terrorist-driven threat orattack. We've been so bombarded with these attacks that when an attack does happen it doesn't faze people--they just go on drinking their Starbucks coffee (me included). Now I'm not saying we should curl up into a ball and cry and reflect about how horrible our world is, but rather just take time to think about it...

6-29-05

2005-10-17T14:34:00.000-07:00

today has been a boring day. last week i went to a church camp at tintern. i want to go back so so bad. i miss it so so much! i miss everyone i met and i miss everyone that i talked to in our talking group(not the assigned one) even more! i met so many ppl. i miss it a lot. i cant wait to talk to everyone again. im gonna have to start making some phone calls so i can talk to them. but ever since camp i havent been doing very much. sunday megan came over, monday she left, tuesday i babysat, today i golfed and worked at a fireworks stand, tomorrow i babysit and have a dt meeting, and then friday i do nothing. such a boring week compared to last week. well im gonna head out. later!

Lazy

2005-10-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

Today was boring. I got up at 6 for football but i had to sit out today cuz i cracked two bones in my right hand... fun stuff. I came home and talked online for a bit then i decided to take a nap at like 3 and slept till 7. The days over and it looks like i ain't doin shit ha. Oh well, its nice to not constantly be busy with sports, that will prolly change with school tho. Hopefully i'll do somthin tommorow and i'll have a lil more to talk about.

ME

2005-10-16T14:32:00.000-07:00

I am kind of mad because I had to leave work three hours early because I cut my finger. I had to get three stitches, but I said no because I would have had to get a shot. Instead I had them glue it. I bought The Ring 2 today, the unrated version. I am talking to my Bryna right now. I love her so much and I miss her. I am getting ready to go to my best friend, Dans22nd birthday party. I am going to take pictures and put them online tomorrow. I will attach a picture of Dan to this blog. That's is pretty much it for now, except that I start school tomorrow and I am happy about that because it will make the days until I see Bryna go by faster. I miss her more than anything in the world.

The Dead 60s

2005-10-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

Iwas reel in by the Dead 60s by the keyword "ska-influenced". My exposure to ska is admittedly weak. Sublime is the band I credit to making me aware that ska is even a music genre. There were also reviews that compared The Dead 60s to The Clash, another favorite of mine. From the clips I have had the opportunity to listen to The Dead 60s is neither. The Dead 60s websitehas two full-length songs available to listen to. My hopes were high with the song "We Get Low". This is close to the Sublime sound that I was looking for. The second song, Radio Riotvears a bit too much into early 80s Rock the Cashbah territory. Still, it grows on me after listening to it repeatedly. All in all, I think it is a good effort and that The Dead 60s may be a band we hear more of with their sophmore release.

Talking about American activist dies in Iraq blast - International News - MSNBC.com

2005-10-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

Quote This is so unfair. We need to get the hell out, and replace guns with food and love. Just how i feel about this whole mess. May she rest in peace. American activist dies in Iraq blast - International News - MSNBC.com

I flew

2005-10-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA I flew to New York to visit my sister. We had a good (extra long) weekend together. We made one day to the DC in Amherst, Mass. Enjoyed it greatly, but felt like we were the "unclean"! oh well.... at least we went. Well, it's back to reality now and work tomorrow. ack!

Prison vs. Work

2005-10-14T14:39:00.000-07:00

Just in case you ever got the two mixed up. This should make things a bit more clear . . . IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell. AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle. IN PRISON... you get three meals a day. AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior. AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior. IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself. IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON... you get your own toilet. AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat. IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK... you can't even speak to your family. IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayer with no work required. AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out. AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars. IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens. AT WORK... they are called managers. So why is it again that we work?

Cloud Nine

2005-10-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

So, I couldnt' be happier right now. As my friend Josh says, I'm on cloud nine. Everything is going great right now. I'm working on finishing up CSC 105, my guy is the greatest guy ever (at least to me he is). And I'm just happy at where I am in life. Granted there has been drama going on, but I'm not letting it weigh me down. I do my best to help resolve the issues (despite feeling like I'm making matters worse at times) but I can't do a whole lot when I'm not being directly affected. I can't stop smiling, which is really beginning to get annoying because my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. I don't know why I'm so happy, but I just am. I guess things are beginning to fall into place and I can start to see the big picture and the tiny part I'm playing it. Well, I need to go get my cookies out of the oven. Laterz

sleepy but happy=)

2005-10-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

i went to a "ming ge" restaurant just now.where there's 2 nerds singing unplugged..haha the music is not good enough for me...im quite snobbish huh...im picky bout music... i guess i will not go there again... next time i wana go to travilion there..there's lot of nice cafes..i guess there's a pub too.. a lot of youngster there...suppose to go there, but the rest of my friends say no $$... so i have to follow them lor..... today i am very happy...because my nn makes me so happy... and she gave me a handphone pouch...there's a cow on it..actually it's more suitable for girl...but i dont care, i feel proud and i appreciate it as long it's a gift from my girl.... i am lazy to write....maybe i should spend more time praying than writing blog... god knows everything......

MY FAVORITE GAME

2005-10-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

I don't know what you're looking for You haven't found it baby, thats for sure You rip me up, you spread me all around In the dust of the deed of time And this is no case of lust you see Its not a matter of you versus me Its fine the way you want me on your own But in the end its always me alone I'm losing my favourite game You're losing your mind again I'm losing my baby, losing my favourite game I only know what I've been working for Another you so I could love you more I really thought that I could take you there But my experiment is not getting us anywhere I had a vision I could turn you right A stupid mission in a lethal fight I should have seen it when my hope was new My heart is black and my body is blue And I'm losing my favourite game You're losing your mind again

Create an IP Address Excel spreadsheet

2005-10-11T14:32:00.000-07:00

Did you ever want a simple vbscript to create a spread sheet for your IP address range? Here is one just for that. 'XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Beginning of the script XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX'**********************************' Creates Excel spreadsheet of IP Addresses' Created by Don Wilwol ' wilwol@gmail.com''**********************************'**********************************'**********************************on error resume next Set objExcel = CreateObject("Excel.Application")objExcel.Visible = TrueobjExcel.Workbooks.Add x = 1 'SET THE NUMBER RANGE FOR EACH OCTET!!for a = 254 to 254for b = 16 to 16for c = 250 to 254for d = 1 to 254objExcel.Cells(x, 1).Value = aobjExcel.Cells(x, 2).Value = bobjExcel.Cells(x, 3).Value = cobjExcel.Cells(x, 4).Value = dx = x + 1next 'dnext 'cnext 'bnext 'a objexcel.ActiveWorkbook.SaveAs("C:IPAddresses.xls") wscript.echo "All Done Dude"

buying college books

2005-10-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

I went up to CSUP today and purchased my textbooks for my first semester. $439.80. I guess that's a pretty reasonable number from what I've heard. I do have one thought regarding my experience though: used books are GAAAAAAAAY. Some used books are all right, but most of the time it's like "New: 82.70...Used: 71.50" YES!! You mean if I buy this piece of shit, wrinkled, scribbled and infinitely marked upon excuse of a textbook then I will save 11 dollars!!?? Oh yes!! Yes yes yes!!." I can only hope the rest of college makes use of such perfect logic.

writers block no more

2005-10-09T14:29:00.000-07:00

hello. whoever reads this.as some of you might know...i have always expressed myself thru poems and song lyrics. lately though, i have only been able to write a few short poems about 2 ...2 1/2 pages...thats short for me. but i couldn't shake the feeling that i could do more...do better. well, i think i have...or at least for now. tonite around 10:45 to 11:20 i wrote the longest poem in my life and it accutally makes sense...well atleast i think it does. my old record for longest poem is just shy of four pages. this one i wrote tonite is excatly nine pages...the poem is aboout jealousy... which is weird b/c i rarely get jealous. i am pretty good about accepting myself for who i am and others for who they are. i really dont feel like posting any of my poems online though. so if anyone acctually reads this and wanted to read my poem and feels that i tricked them. i am sorry...maybe i might post a snippet...but only if you're lucky...unless you didn't want to read it then you are just fine. THERE i am back to myself...i am nonsense blabbing again...yay me. p.s. i made a pair of pants today...i made all of the cuts and pinned it then my gramy gram grams sewd what she could whit the machine the i did some more hand stiching

Day One

2005-10-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

I think that God made a big mistake when he (or she) decided on how best to issue time to the world. If he (or she) had been thinking, he wouldn't have made 4:30 a.m. so bloody early in the morning! I had to be at Reagan National Airport for my flight which was to take off at 7:20 a.m., which meant that I needed to be there in order to pick up the ticket and get through the security screaning process sometime last week. Airlines have now installed more of the "faster express ticket pickup" type booths in airports and done away with many of the things that slowed your trip down considerably like, say, human beings at the ticket counter. I am no techno-dummy, but even I get frustrated at the computer screens which endlessly say "Insert credit card now"..."Sorry, we don't recognize that card, insert again"..."Your card has been repocessed and will be returned to you at the same time we return the luggage we lost last Spring". After checking my bags...which, I believe, was NOT supposed to involve my first strip search...I made my way to the security check-point to stand in line with the other approximately 500 people who were flying to God knows where that exact same time. Of that 500, at least 3 knew what to do in order to get quickly through the security line. These were people who looked competant, looked like they had flown before, some many times, but these people looked genuinely surprised when they were asked for their boarding pass and then told, as they tried to walk through the big fake arch that beeps anytime the worker pushes a secret button, that yes, they did need to take all of the change out of their pockets and their steel-toed shoes off. A few were even arguing that they hadn't worn any socks. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the brain-trust of America. I don't know about you, but I would not go anywhere near a public airport without socks on. After the mandatory second strip-search, I was finally on my way to the plane. Somehow, possibly a severe mix-up in the scheduling computer, my plane was ON TIME and ready to take off when they said it would be! I would hate to be the employee whose head was going to roll for that mistake. We took off from Reagan National and I waved goodbye to the 21st century... ...in order to land 50 minutes later in Indianapolis, home of the 1950's. This was proven by the fact that we started out in a moderatly modern jumbo jet and somewhere along the way had sprouted propellors and an aluminum skin on the plane. It is nice to be in Rockville, Indiana, again though. There is still a town square wherein at least 50% of the stores are occupied at any given time and the local grocery store is still managed by the same man who managed it when I was 8 years old. I could tell because he still runs me out of the store because he thinks I'm trying to steal penny candy...which I am, just for old time's sake. Life is just a bit slower here. As I was walking around the courthouse, I heard the following from two old men on the bench:Man 1: I think I'm going to vote this year.Man 2: what are you talking about? We voted we haven't voted for over a year now!Man 1: Really? Who did you vote for?Man 2: Eisonhower, of course.Yes, we are a state ahead of being behind the times...Tomorrow, we continue with, of all things, Day Two.

don't say i'm the one you want to lose

2005-10-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

Last night was beyond interesting..me, kristen, and evan headed to s'field to watch the all star game drea and katie are playing in..we get there and me and kristen are siting on a small blanky and evan in a chair and it started raining, so the 3 of us were packed onto this blanky and we had a huge umbrella over and like behind us blocking the wind...this picture guy for the springfield register thing came up adn said he was going to take a few pics of us. So we sat there and acted like he wasn't there as he took picture after picture after picture. The storm was coming really fast and the wind and rain was picking up. He asked if we wanted to go to a drier place to get names/ages and stuff so right behind us was a pagoda already packed w/ people. So we are standing on the edge, just getting pounded w/ rain and it starts hailing. We put the umbrella up sideways to block our feet to like our chest, and bent down to block our whole body, but the wind was so bad....we had to like hold teh umbrella with all our strenth and there was a post by me so i used half my body w/ the umbrella, the other w/ the post so they could have enough room. definately didn't work out too well as marble to golf sized hail pounded on my back. my poor sunburnt back. they finally opened up a storage room but it was small and only so many people could fit, but we managed to get in there. I had to let go of the umbrella b/c it had already broke and wouldn't fit in the room w/ us, so the wind just picked it up and took it. That room stunk so bad and everyone was wet. My jeans were so heavy adn i was freezing cold and we still only had that one little blanky. so people started running to their cars , we had more room in the storage room. We heard ambulances outside and it was still pretty bad. it was finally just down to us and this guy and lady and another guy comes and he's all "WHO'S ALL LEFT IN HERE" and the guy and lady are like we're leaving and it's just those . and the guy was like "oh" and ran off. i just looked at kristen and was like What in the F? we finally make it to our car, after jumping in two filled ditches and i'm soaking wet and i jump in the backseat but i'm standing up and i'm like "omg kristen do you want me to sit down" lol i didn't want to get her seats wet and i was going to stand the whole way home lol. evan was like SARA SIT DOWN lmao. I called us rain drunk b/c it was such paranoia that we were doing the most stupid thigns and saying stupid things. so driving through springfield we saw a big semi truck that turned over and it was scary. Then, the power was off, so the stop lights weren't working, and this guy flew through one like adumbass and started to turn left, but a guy was already goign from that direction and they almost hit head on and we were like right there and it was very scary. theybraked hardcore. So we are on the interstate and so out of it. making phone calls to everyone, seeing if tehy are ok, and telling our story. well after like 15 min on the interstate we realize kristen was driving illegally the whole time, driving in the passing lane the whole way, and only going 60 mph. lol, she was in the passing lane, not even going the speed limit. i laugh. when we got to j'villle we took our raindrunken asses to steak n' shake and everyone was giving us dirty looks b/c we looked like we had come out of a swamp or something. it was so cold in there. my money was likke dripping wet when i gave the lady it, she like grabbed it by the corner and just looked at me. it was so funny. ahhh good times. we were so out of it and saying stupid things the whoel ngiht but i really don't remember...had to be there.... this morning kristen calls me at 9:09 am, and wakes me up and tells me the guy that took our pictures name was Jeff, and i'm thinking "why in the hell is she telling me this" and it's b/c last night at steak n' shake they said he looked like a Pat, and i said "no he looks like a Jeffrey.." I was right...Next thing, our picture wasn't even in the paper. he got tons of pics of us on the ground, in the pagoda fighting off wind and hail, and in teh storage room. i honestly wouldn't doubt he got over 50 pics of us b/c he was taking them really fast..NOT A DAMN PICTURE OF US IN THE PAPER. SO PISSED OFF.. he took like 10 minutes of us when we were on the blanky and we would have got back to the car before the hail would have started if he wouldn't have held us there. he was hardcore camera person out there in the rain though. but i'mstill pissed to the max. ok i think this took me like 40 minutes to write. and that's not even all of it, i feel like i'm missing out on a lot. alright bye

Rolling

2005-10-08T09:29:00.000-07:00

Another car trip, another car load. It's starting to come together. M. says we can lose the table & chairs, this will make things much easier. I think we can get a couple of bookcases into the dining area, and some comics in there as well. The walls won't be bare, we have so many pictures and posters etc., but I have found some of those long dressing mirrors at the Goodwill, with the frames painted they would look cool hanging horizontally. Tracie says "it's all about the IKEA, baby," and I would tend to agree. (Honey, we have so much stuff already, that I don't know where to cram IKEA stuff. However, I may call on you to help haul the table and chairs to Goodwill.) I'm going to try and sand, then repaint some of our existing stuff, to make it look new(er) and more hip. Got a magazine to help do some of this stuff,Living Magazinehas some ideas that look easy enough that even I, queen of the unfinished project, could do and possibly not get too bored with. (Trace, if you want to come foron aSat. or Sun. andhelp do some arts & crafts, that could be good fun.) We went to Value Village and got a sheet to hang over the window, keep nosy eyes out of the stuff we've hauled so far. I like the sheet so much that I think I'll go back and look for the other one that I didn't buy. I had wanted to get a shower curtain and bathmat too... but SHOWER CURTAINS ARE $15!?!?! I think I may go to Ikea just for a shower curtain! The rest of our revamp is coming from Goodwill and the like. (Cash) Poor student me. If I get some of these projects done, you will see me proudly displaying some results! And flaunting that I got them finished! And M. won't harp at me! Yay!

loof's confidential email -- a wired pheno

2005-10-07T14:29:00.000-07:00

Today met l+ when xg and I went for te after long depressing meeting with our bosses. l+ asked me whether I've received loof's email regarding the option to pursue PhD. I received the email yesterday and replied immediately with "I only want to complete with Master Degeree". I just assumed the QE result is out and everyone receives this email. Then l+ said in a worried tone that, so far among all those she've asked, only we two received the email and she emphasize to me the "if" in the sentence of"if you pass QE" in the email, which means we might not pass. hm.... I dun think the school is not sounresearnoable tomake the pass or fail decision upon our decision of not pursuing PhD. So I just optimistically assume that we are the top PhD candidates and if we are not gonna to take PhD, they'll give the vacancies to the rest. however, l+ seemed still worried. Then at dinner time, asked 1ming whether he received the email. he said no and he was worried too.....It is really ironic when someone worries for "You got an email" and someone worries for "why I haven't received the email?". anyway, this is not my concern at all. totally occupied by the buggy project. tmr gonna have a break by attending Bill Gates' talk at Suntec in the afternoon and will go to buy some formal attires after that. oh....weekend again, time flies....start worrying about how to complete thesis by October...when can I put a full stop to the project and concentrateon my thesis? expecting a full stop from end of May till now... what an unexpected extension. anyhow, sweet sweet dreams.

Lansing Michigan

2005-10-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

Laurie and I just made it into Lansing Michigan. The plan is to only stay here one night. Laurie is planning on seeing her mother Ardis and sister Myla here. To serve that end we got one of the suites at this particular Hampton Inn for the night. Today was one of the first days in this trip and our last trip that we have run into any bad weather; there was a thunderstorm as we left Monroe. If the weather had been better we would have stopped to shoot the Custer statue in Monroe but that wouldn't have worked with the rain. The plan is to depart from here to Elizabethtown Kentucky tomorrow. I will be making the road plan later today. Hopefully the weather will be good on Monday for the outdoor shooting I need to do. Even if it isn't I have budgetted in the time and money for us to stay an extra day if we have to. If the weather is bad in Kentucky will spend some of our time in the Armor School Library at Fort Knox. There is supposed to be a lot of material I can use there.

Well

2005-10-06T14:42:00.000-07:00

WELL ITS 4 MORE DAYS AND IM SO PUMPED! though i do have some let downs. But im sure it will all fit together. ... One thing GUYS SUCK!!!! hahahaha LOVE YEAH AYDEN! lol i was never madd!!! Drink till you dont think! hahaha ( i need a new one)

Within

2005-10-05T14:56:00.000-07:00

I feel the death from within as my heart is broken and my love dies forever. I feel the death from within when I see those grain colored eyes and I realize I will never see them again. I feel the death from within when I remember the taste of your lips I feel the death from within as the ocean floods from my eyes. I felt the death from within when you took my heart, and returned it in pieces and my love died. ~Kt~

A day of Memories

2005-10-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

Last night I ended up rolling around in the bed, entwining myself with the sheets, and just thinking. I came to a conclusion : I have no real 'Home'. I don't belong in Jacksonville and I don't belong in Ft. Lauderdale. I tried both places and gave them equal chances. I have friends in Ft. Lauderdale like Meghan, Jon, and Kimi but not to many others. I don't know why I expected to come back to Jacksonville and pick up what was left and try to dust it off... Things don't work that way. I wanted to dust off time and see if things could be fresh but I had to many hopes and they all perished. I went to sleep thinking about how different Jason was and how his sister might look now. I dreamt of old times, of being in the mall and seeing Jason and being at Golden Coral with my dad and sister and looking over to see Jason and 3 of his friends. I don't know, it was just weird... He looked and felt so much older and at first when we left his house because we thought he wasn't there we went across the street then he opened the door. Jessika and Samantha were liek "Hey, Alex? Isn't that him?" I'm like "Uhhh... is it?" So, I look at him -- the sun is shining down on me so he's just... a dark figure in the doorway. I say "Hiiiii?" Lol... and walk over and sure enough it's him. He's shocked looking but w/e. I dunno, he was just... really different. Still the same look but different. I told my mom that I seen him yesterday and Mom : Oh? The same kid I babysitted? Me : Yep, same one. Mom : How's he doing? Still looks the same? Me : Yeah, he's good. He looks the same for the most part except now he's trying to grow a moustache! Mom : *Laughing* He was always adorable, even when he was a little boy. Me : Yeah, he looks older now and seems more mature. Mom : *Laughing* Is he taller then you now? Me : No way! He started shorter then me, got ahead of me, and now we're both 5'9. Mom : He could still grow. Me : I guess but if he did I couldn't tease him anymore now could I? Lol.. yep... anyways.. I woke up at late 9am, laid in bed and just stared up at the off white cieling, occassionally looking out at the elephante ear bushes and vines on the fence -- my favorite place to look -- I love vines -- always add personality and color no matter where it is, and I just thought. Why would I want to pick up everything from the dust? Would I really want to go back in time to where I knew barely anything? Never was a true individual? Never thought for myself? Sheltered and always self concience? Lol... never... In Ft. Lauderdale I'm still the same, sometimes shy, sometimes out spoken, a lot of times mannered, and for the most part in some of my classes -- silent and just drawing -- the only way people know me is through my art. :P Lol... Yep... Alright, tonight is my last night for a while until I get back to talk to all my friends. I'm going to miss a lot of you and even though it's only for 2 weeks it'll seem like a long time since I'll miss you all and won't be able to joke around like myself for a while. On the uphand I get to play around with my baby cousins! :D Victoria and Nicholas. Nicky isn't a baby anymore but he's a kid still -- not even 11 I hink? Vicky... wow... lol... I seen her as a baby. I loved her when she was a baby. She would make a pouty face but I entertained her with magic tricks or just taking her to the playground around the street. Lol... I want kids when I get older; I dunno, I like my figure but I'll give it up if I can have kids, :) Anyways, I'm leaving here at 6pm so I won't be on for a while. If anyone wants, call me on the cell. If you don't have it just ask someone. Lol... it's going to be so weird not talking to friends. I learned just now that we'll leave the Monday coming up, 2 days to get there, a week staying at my Nana's/Uncle-Aunts house, leave probably the 27th and be back in Ft. Lauderdale the 30th. The trip to NY is 1k miles, back is 1k - 2k there. To get to Ft. Lauderdale is about... 315 miles so... it's a bit of a way. It's 5 hours -- said by mapquest, but add traffic to that and get atleast 6 hours. I looked up on mapquest and it's 324.41 miles from Jax to Ft. Lauderdale... Woohoo... but my dad has to go 324 AGAIN to get back to Jax. He's not going to stay in Ft. Lauderdale to rest because he doesn't want to be around my mom so... yep. Yay... exciting. Well, I'm editing this post so I can add more. I'm at my grandparents house atm. Nothing much happened. Everyone bickered and teased each other and I jumped into the shower, played a game of air hockey which I beat my sister - 10 to 6, blow dried my hair and I'm here. I'm bored and have no one to talk to and most likely won't for some time. I'm thinking of going to bed early, possibly 9:20 pm so that way I won't have to endure my grandfathers insults of "Jesus Christ Alex, you need to go to bed earlier so you don't wake up in the damn afternoon." Lol... sometimes I find it humorous at everything he bickers about. For instance? We had pasta tonight, he told Grandma two boxs of pasta. We ate only HALF of ONE box. He thinks to big that man! Way to competitive and he drives us all crazy! It's fine though since I only have to endure 3 days of his mockery, competitiveness, inflated ego, and insults. On the upside I get good food. He makes great food so it's all good. :) He watchs my figure though -- go figure -.- I'm a dang bean pole and he watchs my figure! He calls my grandma and sister fat when they aren't! He's way to blinded because he's a male. It's true! He has a clouded sense of mind whichin turn creates his ways of doing things and thinking things. He thinks because he's a male that he has power. Sexist is a tad known in this family along with racism. I, how ever, came out clean some how. Lol... probably because I'm such an idividual and don't follow a lot of people and their ways. Lol... I speak my mind, have my own humor, and I have my own way of thinking and acting. It annoys my mother that I like short hair instead of long hair, that I don't care what height a guy is, that I don't care what race the guy is or how he is. It annoys her that I don't talk to her that much or when I go off and sit by myself. Lol... I'm an idividual :D Rawr, PHEAR MEH! :D Oh, and it annoys her that I liked to shoot the gun, liked to go camping or go out in the woods! Lol... I don't know, I rather be myself then be what other people expect of me. If they ain't living my life then they can't tell me what to do with my life, right? Right! :) Oh, and most of all. It annoys her that I'm a daddy's girl. Rofl... Eh, not my fault. She tried to break me away from my dad plenty of times and almost succeeded but I gathered courage and I put myself in awkward situations just so I could share time with my dad. I went for a car ride with my dad and I, out of no where, asked what his dad was like, what his child hood was like, etc. I didn't get much but I got more then what my mom would have got if she asked me. Lol... anyways... I'm tuckered out and I'm ready to go lay in bed and have soft music following me as I drift off to sleep. :P So, g'night. Love ya :) ~Alexandra

......

2005-10-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

( ) .. " " " " "" ( ) .... "" "" () " " "" "" "" "" "" "" " 70 90 " " 100 " " " ( ) " " ( " ") "" .. ( ) () ... ...

trust

2005-10-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

-trust- what has happened to ppl these days you really cant trust anyone you may think you know someone you may think you can trust them you may even think they love you YOU CAN B WRONG things are all based on trust that is why so many ppl have a hard time gettin a good gf/bf ppl are just not trustworthy take my advice and get to know sumone b4 you date or you can get hurt.... ive leard it the hard way....ppl are hard to trust so whn he sais hes with his friends...check into it whn she sais she out with her mom...check into it watch your steps.... watch their steps pay attention to whats goin on with your gf/bf trust is a hard thing to gain and trust is a even harder thing to KEEP once you have trust with sumone dont ruin it....keep it watch yourself watch your bf/gf learn what it means to trust -trust-

Forgot The Friend Spiders

2005-10-03T14:36:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention that when we were traveling to Phenom Phen the vendors who always rush the bus to sell food and drinks were selling 1" fried spiders. Pretty gross, but people were buying them like crazy.

I don't get it.

2005-10-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

What drives people to be so cruel? I mean shit, I know I'm below the even slightly pretty mark, but stop treating me like a leper because of it! I hate it, people jump on you over the smallest reason that there friends use as jokes later. Sometimes I just want to throw away my grades and claw my way up the popularity ladder, just to get them to shut up. 'Egghead' and 'Nerd', meant nicely are alright in moderation. But when it's officially that person's name for you it's maddening. Why can't I be one of those average or above average but not super-smart people who have looks to match? Not to brag about my intelligence, I hate it right now. I think before I said that I can't wait to grow up, well, it's true. Every day I keep going, and think of the day these snobs will be my secretary. Until then, the subtle torment is driving me crazy. Not to mention that I only actually like about two of my new friends, and I can't get out of my own God damned shell enough to speak. I'll make no pretense that my own natural personality has nothing to do with this. It's just...everyone is so different here. They're all so much more serious, it's heartbreaking. I miss literally laughing all period long with Bri. I don't know, I guess all I'm trying to say is I really am scared. I'm scared of how these people will influence me, and if I'll ever have a good friend in my life. I miss being in a school where there was not nearly as much shallowness. Being the weak, contemptible person I am, it will probably stay like this, and I will be forever known as 'the ugly nerd'. And it's not like my life will go anywhere, I'll probably end up some minor, obscure little engineer whom nobody has ever heard of. I guess that's the path I've set for myself. Damn shyness. I'd prefer outright bullying compared to this shy snubbing. These girls really know how to bring someone to point of despair.And Inever felt like this at my old school, I went there happy every single day and had a firmbelief that my friends were my friends. I don't have that here, and it makes me want to just curl up in my bed and die. And it isn't likeanyone will read this. Why do I even bother?

not desperate enough

2005-10-02T14:47:00.000-07:00

I wathed the last episod of desperate housewives last night ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn that's the end? just that? the TV show is named desperate housewives, but i dont think the four housewives seem desperate enough, of course Mary is the most desperate one maybe sometimes feel desperate completely, maybe always feel desperate a little I am looking forward to the 2nd season, becasuse I have so many questions: Is Andrew a gay?I think so, though he told the priest he wasnt. I want to know what he will do to his mother? I am so sure that he is going tol hurt Bree. anawful guy!evil! I will be happy to see in the next season that the police r able to link Andrew and Mrs.Solis It seems that Zach is the son of Mike's, I wonder whether Zach will shoot Mike?

holding on to feel the same

2005-10-02T09:34:00.000-07:00

so....i'm in COLLEGE....yippy....err...yay...whoopie........*yawn*.....ha but ya it's been fun....moving in wasn't that bad....even getting my tv and stuff wasn't that bad.......but running up and down those freaking stairs..that took an eternity.......GAHHH.....and hey....my roommate already owes me....he's in the ROTC....he doesn't wake up for his 5am alarm....and course I DO....and so i have go fall off the bunk.......trip in the dark.....and wake his sorry rear up.....it's a good thing i'm a nice guy or no one would get anywhere in this college......ha......and i don't know about you....but i can't wait for this BIG RED WELCOME.....wheee!...or my solo thing.....oh jeez i've hardly practiced....i'm gonna choke.....but that'll happen....and hey then again i'll get used to having two choir classes every other day....well that's a small clip of what's happened....and a bunch of dorks took my money in a poker game...won't see me going to nerdhardt going for a good time ever again....GRRR well peace out andrew

Alone, by E.A. Poe

2005-10-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

ALONE by Edgar Allan Poe (1830) >From childhood's hour I have not been As others were; I have not seen As others saw; I could not bring My passions from a common spring. From the same source I have not taken My sorrow; I could not awaken My heart to joy at the same tone; And all I loved, I loved alone. Then- in my childhood, in the dawn Of a most stormy life- was drawn From every depth of good and ill The mystery which binds me still: From the torrent, or the fountain, From the red cliff of the mountain, From the sun that round me rolled In its autumn tint of gold, From the lightning in the sky As it passed me flying by, From the thunder and the storm, And the cloud that took the form (When the rest of Heaven was blue) Of a demon in my view. -- THE END -- Damn, he's good!

Another Day In Nicaragua

2005-10-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

Today, I am starting to feel the week catching up with me. I am extremely tired, physically and spiritually (but mostly spiritually). This morning Lyndsay, William, Jeffery, Don, and I went out together in the comunity that we were visiting. We went to a total of four homes. Two people, a young man, and a woman, accepted Christ after Don spoke with them. He is really amazing to listen too. He presents the plan of salvation in such a way that you can see the people realizing the truth right before your eyes! It was really cool. I think that because of this gift, Satan was really attacking us trying to keep us from accomplishing what we set out to do, and that is to lead people to Christ. I spent much of the morning in silent prayer and now I am very tired. This afternoon was short because the medicines ran out quicker than the other days. I stayed at the school and talked with Savvy and Meghan. They are both feeling a little under the weather and I was able to hlep them feel a little better. Pray for everyone on the team, it seems like a lot of people are feeling sick. Pray for health and rejuvination.

Nintendo+

2005-09-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

I readKenny's blog today for a while.. Heletme recall those days when i used to have fun withNintendo(Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A, select, start.yada yada yada) Remember that? Congrat! you have 30 lives added! I can still remember that mycousin and I would play it for more than 6 hours,hoping to find extra level but failed.. It's quite easy for me to be satisfied in my childhood. hmm... the golden age i think. =37=110MMID..... 4555tmd, "" YYFblog! Priceline Hotel Discount

Owned?

2005-09-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

"An elderly man was sitting alone on a dark path, right? He wasn't certain of which direction to go, and he'd forgotten both where he was traveling to and who he was. He'd sat down for a moment to rest his weary legs, and suddenly looked up to see an elderly woman before him. She grinned toothlessly and with a cackle, spoke: 'Now your *third* wish. What will it be?'""'Third wish?' The man was baffled. 'How can it be a third wish if I haven't had a first and second wish?'""'You've had two wishes already,' the hag said, 'but your second wish was for me to return everything to the way it was before you had made your first wish. That's why you remember nothing; because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes.' She cackled at the poor berk. 'So it is that you have one wish left.'""'All right,' said the man, "I don't believe this, but there's no harm in wishing. I wish to know who I am.'""'Funny,' said the old woman as she granted his wish and disappeared forever. 'That was your first wish.'"

Brief update

2005-09-28T14:37:00.000-07:00

Dinner with friends last night: Carol, Kasper, Lucy & Simon (plus me and Tom ofc). Simon is the manager of the Boston Tea Party (my favourite coffee shop) and Lucy has also worked there in the past, but has recently graduated from Cambridge University with a First! Several bottles of chamagne were consumed, along with wine, food and great quantities of coffee. Carol had to leave to catch her bus around 11pm, but Simon and Lucy stayed chatting until nearly three in the morning! I didn't even try to sleep - been in a bit too much CFS-type muscle pain for the evening - so I did most of the dishes, wrote some poetry and finished Kasper's fox. It's sitting next to his bed, waiting for him to wake up. I also went a bit mad and joined Friends Reunited. I was amazed that everyone I tried to find was actually listed, so I took the plunge and sent an e-card to two people: Steve Armitage and Brian Mitchell. Hmmm. Well life is never dull. Oh and a quick note that we are keeping a diary of the holiday with something of a Dark Age of Camelot flavour

Dropping the hammer

2005-09-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

I have been asked to discuss the ball peen method of justice. This idea is really simple and based on two assumptions. Punishment for infractions should be as immediate as possible, and that punishment should be proportional. Punishment needs to be immediate because it seems that people have an almost unbounded ability to disassociate events that don't happen in immediate chronological succession. For some reason there had been a break down in the common understanding of cause and effect. The sooner punishment can be doled out, the more likely a person will associate their actions with the punishment. Ideally, proportional punishment should take into account the infraction and the ability of the person who broke the rules to absorb or fulfill that punishment. For example, charging a flat fee for parkinginfractions punishes a poor person more than a rich person by fining them a larger percentage of their net worth. From a different angle, proportional punishment should take the severity of the infraction into account. Parking in front of a fire hydrant is a bigger infraction than parking 15 minutes in a 10 minute space. Any set of punishment should take both factors into account in a fair and reasonable way. The "ball peen" method of justice for parking addresses proportionby assigning each type of infraction a "peen" value. Based on the example above, parking for 15 minutes in a 10 minute parking spot may simply be a one peen offense. An enforcement officer would use a ball peen hammer to distribute a single peen to a body panel of the car. Parking in front of a fire hydrant may be a three peen/ 1 tail light offense. In this case an officer would use the hammer to distribute 3 body panel blows, and break out 1 tail light. This differentiates the severity of the infraction. The other half of proportionality, the ability of a person to absorb or fulfill the punishment, is automatically factored in by the car they drive. In general, the wealthy a person is thenicer their carand they are more likely to repair damage. A person with limited means that chooses to invest in a quality car would be more inclined to driver responsibly and avoid making parking mistakes. For the examples above you can also see just how rapidthe ball peen method of justice can be. There is nostuffing a paper ticket in the glove box for weeks to pay. The damage is already done. The best part about this whole idea is the network effect of savings that stem from it. It's cost effective for enforcement and environmentally sound. No wasted paper writing out tickets andpaperwork back at the police station. No envelopes or checks for sending in fines. Police officers don't need to write down plate numbers, or keep a record of who parked poorly. The driver of the car doesn't have to waste time mailing in payment. If the driverdoes take time to repair the damage they drive the economy by paying skilled laborers to repair the damage. A ball peen hammer has an almost unlimited service life, and would require a minimal outlay of initial cost to the police force. The draw back here is that it only applies to parking violations and I haven't found a reasonable way to extend ball peen justice to moving violations or other forms of justice. So send me your thoughts. Can ball peen justice work? Can it break free of its parking violation origins? Can law enforcement arrive with the swing of a new hammer?

What if?

2005-09-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is just a random thought that I had. I made it into much more than its supposed to be, but hey I got bored. I bet all of you have a girl/guy that is crazy about you. You may or may not know it yet, but you all do. This person could be someone you hate, someone you really care about, your best friend, your worst enemy, or that one person thats just always there. Now let me tell you, when this person gets close to you, she/he is the happiest person ever. Just a simple hey or get away from me from you makes their day better. I mean, even if you just look at them, it makes them feel wonderful about themselves because for that one moment she/he knows they crossed your mind. Now for the hard part: You dont want to get involved with them because a. That would be gross b. In the end you could lose something thats more important c. You just dont feel that way d. That part of your life is gone e. None of the above So this makes this person kind of sad, but it doesnt mean that she/he is going to give up. Theyll do everything possible to make those secret rendezvous. Theyll do it till you give in, even though you keep telling yourself that itll never happen. There is a sad part to this moral. This person will eventually stop and move on to someone else. Theyll totally forget about you. This is the point where you miss this person. You miss their constant following you everywhere you go or always calling you just to here your voice. This is the point where you become that person. You become a person thats crazy about another. But youve lost your chance. She/he has already moved on. But despite what everyone says, you still think you have a chance. This is where you go back to the beginning of this whole thing. So I guess what Im trying to say is give people a chance before you totally blow it off. Who knows, they could make you the happiest person alive while you do the exact same thing back to them. But youll never know until you give them a chance to see how truly amazing they really are. This applies to everyone. Give that guy or girl that has a crush on you a chance. Lifes biggest and most annoying question is what if. What if I wouldve gave him/her a chance? Think about it.

when we went to do Report

2005-09-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

I love this picture cuz this one I took with my best friend right now ( Friend only).. He always act as adult( in factwe should) but this one hahaha he lost controlbecuase ofME!!! ..... ( ) Then Next..... This pic I also like it too cuz Umm Yummy Yummy .. Look at my Face Oh!! My God why my friend still look too good ....... hahha .. ..... This one is also my best friend too Well on that day we hadnt sleep or took some nap .. YEAHHH !! Some Nap as you know only 1-2 hours,.......... but before we went to Bangna Campus on Friday I went to have some Korean food .. Err in fact I like Kimji na and food but I think this place ( at Phatumwan Princess Hotel) is not good as the real Korean food............ Umm but why I look so great becuse of the GInger water.. haha great taste. KongJu ...... ......... THis picture umm funny also . Why and WHy I dont make my face look good as the other .. Could you comment?? .... .... this picture ummm.. good I think . I love this one too

better

2005-09-26T14:29:00.000-07:00

hey wuts popin lol well nuttin much well i have one piece of advice NEVER ever go to the Peace Garden it is the most boring granny, place ever~ but anywayI feel alot better so 2day i am gonna go to the mall and hang their for the day but the bad part is.... my granny is coming and the kinda good news is that my brother isn't coming (right ariel lol) cuz well lets just say he likes to insult me~ lol well i g2g bye bunch of love

Devil Man

2005-09-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been reflecting upon myself. I have changed from a happy child, into a Devil Man. I can't seem to find respect for people anymore, and I feel I don't deserve life anymore. I have become more a devil than anyone I know. I seem to attack religion quite often, and I am losing friends like no one has ever done. I foresee myself getting into fights during my sophomore year because I can't control my aggression. Could I possibly be bi-polar? Whatever the case is, I truely despise myself. I haven't had actual "fun" for a long time now.I am also warning people now to beware of my anger. I honestly cannot control it anymore, and it is heated. If you do not wish to speak to me any longer I can understand..... I wouldn't want to talk to me either. All in all I just hope you this gives a little understanding of why I have become a bastard. And I may bea bastard, but at least I admit it.

oh yeah - my blog...

2005-09-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

Long time no post Dads going to be fine still stuck in the hospital but appears to be recovering rapidly. Hell have one last CAT scan this afternoon. Pending approval from Dr A., he should be given permission to go home BY tomorrow morning! Looks like he wont need chemo therapy or radiation treatment after all! Moms been visiting him at the hospital every afternoon its heart-warming the way they continue to care for each other after all of these years!! Oscar arrived from the Ukraine via Air France. Han paid 1,200 bucks for the little guy worth every penny if you ask me. Hard to believe hell one day grow to approx 60 lbs!! What a chick magnet too!! Im absolutely devastated!! Just finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince hopefully it isnt another 2 years before the next one comes out. Its astounding how entertaining these books are!! still smoke free... awfully proud of myself!!!

hmm....

2005-09-25T09:46:00.000-07:00

Good evening everyone Just writing in here to recap everything that happened today. Woke up to a request by mom to run down to Jill's daycare which is a 1.5 down the road. It pissed me off especially since i was talking to my baby. I came home and found Lauren had sent me pictures of her, wow shes beautiful. I love her eyes and her smile. I saw the picture of us together after camp and it brought back all those memories that seem forever ago but its only been a week. Its really amazing, i know ive been saying that a lot, but its true. Ive gone in head-over-heels and never felt this way before about anyone. She means the world to me. I miss being with her and me being in her arms. Cannt wait until she comes up here and we can spend the day together sometime soon. We talked like 4 times today, each time it was better and better, ive been smiling ear to ear since i met her. Haha i actually got told to shutup by Melissa who lives in lynchubrg cause i wouldnt stop talking bout Lauren. Shes so amazing. Anyways, im talking to her now so ill end this. See yall Jon <3 Lauren 7-14-05

Turning Japanese

2005-09-24T13:36:00.000-07:00

Turning JapaneseThe VaporsI got your picture of me and youYou wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"I sit here staring and there's nothing else to doOh it's in colorYour hair is brownYour eyes are hazelAnd soft as cloudsI have to kiss you when there's no one else aroundI got your picture, I got your pictureI'd like a million of you over myselfI want a doctor to take a pictureSo I can look at you from inside as wellYou've got me turning up and turning downand turning in and turning 'roundI'm turning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soTurning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soTurning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soTurning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soI got your picture, I got your pictureI'd like a million of you over myselfI want a doctor to take a pictureSo I can look at you from inside as wellYou've got me turning up and turning downand turning in and turning 'roundI'm turning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soTurning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soTurning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soTurning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soNo sex, no drugs, no wine, no womenNo fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's darkEveryone around me is a total strangerEveryone avoids me like a Psyclone RangerEveryoneThat's why I'm turning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soTurning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soTurning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think soTurning JapaneseI think I'm turning JapaneseI really think so...

I hurt!

2005-09-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

Between my surgery a couple of weeks ago and now the fact thatI have cooked my skin...I freakin hurt. My face hurts, my shoulders hurt...even myhands hurt. I have used every bottle of after sun care product I have and so far nothing is giving me any releif. I have got to take better care of myself...I am gonna look old before my time! The fact is though that there is no where to hide from the sun at Water Town. The concrete just reflects the suns rays right up on you...so you are getting it coming and going. I did use sunscreen but of course it must have washed off. Gracie is not burned at all. Her cheeks may be a little pink! And let me tell you she had no simpathy for me...whenI realized what was happening to me I told her we had to go andshe turned into a teen-ager right before my eyes. Rolling her eyes an huffingat me!I thinkpuberty is upon her...or should I say us? Marty and I watched a showon the discovery channel about puberty and it said thatgirls hit it when thier body has stored up enough fat cells...each girl has a magic number inplanted in thier DNA and when thier body has that many fat cells the switch flips! Well, I don't have to tell you Marty andI decided right then that Gracie was going ona low fat diet. However it may have been too late, her nickname around here is Bubble Butt or Bubbles for short. Ifher boobsgrow into her but anytime soon...OH GOD HELP US! She is really starting to like boys more and that of course is driving Marty nuts.It is going to be a long hard road getting Gracie raised withno baggage! Her "father" is a drug addict bum, ThankGod for Marty! She sees alot of her "father" and his family but she will tell you real quick that her name is Brammer...the name Marty gave me when Gracie was only 2 years old. Marty met Gracie when she was only 18 months old so she doesn't remember a time when he wasn't there for her. At timesI though he was dating me because of her! They bonded right off the bat.I guess I knew he was "THE ONE" the first timeI saw the two of them sitting on the couch in my apartment eating a bag of cookies and watching cartoons. It was only the 2nd time Marty had met my daughter and they just seemd to be made for each other. He takes pretty good care of me too. Thealmost 2 weeksI was in the hospitalpoor Marty had to sleep on one of those bed/couches that they try not to make comfortable. He would go to work every morning from the hospital, then after working all day, and leaving with work still unfinished, he would go home feed thedogs,grab some clothes and head to the hospital. He got almost no sleep because thenurses were in and out all night long, but he never complained! I forget some times why I married the man..lol. But thensomething happens that reminds me that I married him because he loved me and I loved him for it! He hasn't even made fun of me because I look like a lobster! Gracie has, but Marty hasn't said a word. IfI didn't hurt he would be all over it though!

Cattle

2005-09-23T13:34:00.000-07:00

"Why pick cows for advertising glue?" I wondered. The little picture on the white school glue bottles we had to buy each year was of Elmer the COW, right? Ah, another cow! What about Elsie? At least she made sense: cows, milk... Elmer, cow, glue... I don't think I want to go there! Soo. I went to the closet and pulled out the bottle of rubber cement. "Columbus, Ohio."The white school glue bottle confirmed my suspicion: Borden company. That's the connection. Elsie and Elmer are husband and wife! I wonder if they ever met the Pilsbury couple

Stress is an Inevitable Thing

2005-09-23T08:36:00.000-07:00

So I have accepted the fact that I am stressed permanently. Money, ethics, work, kids....EVERYTHING!. what I need to do is stop focusing on getting rid of the stress, but rather trying to overcome the stress when it builds up. If I try and get rid of the things that stress em out I wont have kids, a house, a job. I'd be a homeless bum, and I would still be stressed!!!! The kids have been pretty good lately. Connor is teething so of course he is going to be a little testy, but I think he is handling it quite well. Harley is finally accepting that I am the boss, and not to mess with me, so that turning out great (for the time being). Harleys has been talking up a storm about Thomas the train and his friends, James, Toby, Gordon, and evil Diesel 10 (yes, he is very evil). Hopefully he'll grow out of that phase...lol Tomorrow I have ANOTHER day off, now I'm not sure if work is going to acknowledge it, but Mitch has to do duty again, so oh well!!! Well I actually have a ton of stuff to do, so Ill write a very long blog next ime!!!! Ciao!!!

Winding down

2005-09-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

I hope every father out there had a great Father's Day! I know I did... we played a bunch of cards and went out for lunch. After lunch we came home and played some more games... then I napped... watched some U.S. Open golf... which put me back to sleep, then woke up to play a board game (with not only my kids but my "adopted" kids from the neighborhood) and then snuggled in for some TV with the wife. Saturday was a busy day - we had a number of baseball All-Star games and the weather was perfect, the kids had a great time and it made the season worth every bit of sweat and frustration. We had an All-Star game for our Tee-Ball league (for the kids moving up next year) and the Coach Pitch league (7-8 year-old boys and girls) and then our older kid pitch kids started their All-Star tournament in a double elimination tournament against invited teams from all over Virginia Beach.Lots of fun was had by all! We have a few make-up rainout games tonight and tomorrow for the older boys and girls and then it's over. Vacations can begin. Relaxation and winding down.... just what the doctor ordered.

love or crush

2005-09-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

what is love and what does it define? who's to say if it's love or just a simple crush? if what i'm feeling is only puppy love i don't think i could take the real thing. He's always on my mind. i can't believe he's finally mine. In every passing car i look for his face. Hoping today i'll be in the right place. Waiting for the time i can hold him in my arms again. the time spent together doesn't last. and the next time to come is just to far away. The chills that go up and down my spine, when he says " i love you" i can't believe it's what it's came to be. nothing could get me ready for this feeling once again. last time i fell this hard he left to catch another. So hunny if you are reading this don't ever let me go. hold on as tight as you can. you know i'm your biggest fan. The fear of being left stops me from totally opening up. i don't ever want to feel like i did before. I don't believe i'm putting this all down on here for anyone to read. but i need you guys help. does this sound like a crush or love? because to me i've had crushes and this really isn't the same thing. but how can i tell? i need you help. please reply and tell me what you think! please~~~~~~~~~~~~~ so everyone this is what i felt i should write. it sounds stupid i know but it's now out in the light. i'm crazy about him and nothing can change that. i love him and thats a fact. please reply!!!!!

last night

2005-09-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

Last night i was up tell 2:00 writting an e-mail to my guy friend RYAN (he is going out with riley!!!!) anyways yea the e-mail is 1 and a half pages long!!! so yea i am really bored right now so i am jsut u now sittign around ryan if u are reading this sorry about the long e-mailoh yea Ryan is the boy me and riley met at the beach every one he is really HOT!!! u know i mean he is hotter then justin k so he must be really really hot but u know he is going out iwth riley so thts good!!!! U KNOW THEY BOTH ARE HAPPY!!!! hey u guess my people tell me if u think this is wierd ryan wants me to go with this guy tht i dont ever know i mean i have never talked to him never seen him never anything i only know his name witch i cant think of right know so yea tell me if u think tht is weird oh yea and he wants me to go out with his friend so tht we can go on a double date u know ryans really weird so i dont know u khnow ok sure well.............later peace out luv ya all Laura P.S. answer my questions on my e-mail sherbert22qt@hotmail.com

A padawan learner we have, yes, yes!

2005-09-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

(Gotta switch to Yoda for this one because THERE ARE NO PIRATES IN STAR WARS!) Ah, come to learn the ways of the Force you have young Jedi. Hmmmmm. The force is strong in this one.Yes. Yes. Yet, he has vengence in his heart. Hmmmmm. What wanting to avenge, he is? Could be trouble, yes, yes. Vengence easily leads to the Dark Side, it does. Yes. Yes. (Back to pirate because THERE IS NO YODA IN PIRATES!!!!) Argh. ye young scalliwag, ye be a frequentin' me Phantom more than a 3 legged dog hoppin' for food, ye 'ave. Tis ways o' pirating ye be after? Argh! No, ye be a nice young laddie so I be givin' ye some advice, I be. These be things ye never say to yer wench, when ye be a gettin' one. 1. Never be a tell in' her that it don't matterwhat she be lookin' likefor nobody be seein' her anyway.Ye be tellin' her she be lookin beautiful in your eye no matter what she be lookin' like , even if ye has ta lie like a flea bitten scurvy son o' a sea dog. 2. When she be a throttlin' ye 'bouts other wenches, ye tell 'er she be the only one fer ye but ye can't elp but be a man an' look now an' agin. Never, ever be a tellin' her under any circumstances that ye be faithful ta her 'cause ye don't 'ave time not ta be. 3. Ye best not pull any o' that double standardroguishbehavior. Tis not right, ye 'ear me, ta be a tellin' her she can't be a 'avin' $3 for sewin machine needles when ye be a spendin' a pirate's treasure on purtyin' up yer car. ARGH! (Not in the budget. Not in the budget RWAWK!) That thar be me parrot, Stupidhead. 4. Even if it not be in yer nature, try to give 'er a hug or a nice little kiss jest ta show 'er ye cares. Now an agin' a little "I be lovin' ye" don't hurt none neither. But ye be a sayin' its likes ye means it or she'll be a knowin' and it'll be doin' more harm than good, it will , yes yes. (ARgh! Be damned that little green man! Off the plank witchya, ye scurvy swamp rat!) 5. Don't be expectin' 'er ta sit around waitn' for yer sorry arse. She be a person an' a right to pillage and plunder on 'er own, not tied ta the galley or waitin' to serve ye, ye dirty bilge rat! 6. Thar'll be days when she be feelin' insecure an' will ask ye if ye love 'er. If ye be wise, ye don't say "Well, I'm still here, aren't i?" if ye wants ta live ta see another day. Argh! Well, ye bein' such a young pup o' a scurvy dog, I be thinkin' that be enough learnin' for ye ofr this day. Now, den, ye be dryin' those tears. T'ain't that bad, says I. And ye best not be forgettin' THERE IS NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! Argh! I could kick meself with me peg leg - I be forgetting ta tell ye the most important thing o' all! When yer wench comes ta ya all teary eyed for there's somethin' a hurtin' in her heart, never, ever, ever under any cirucumstances do ye tell her ta jest get over it!!!! She be comin' ta ya fer comfort, lad. She be not expectin' ye ta fix whatever's wrong. She be wantin' ta be held and fer ye ta pretend ye understand, cuz we know ye never will, but we still be a wantin' the effort. Thar, that should do ye well. __________________________________________________________________- Hey Nita! Well, this one was for a 15 year old "jedi" who is an avenger. Was in here a lot but now I think I may have scared him away! LOL! yeah, if I get a hold of a young man, I'm givin' him an earfull to save some young woman heartache later on! LOL! If only I'd had me a pirate to slap hubster around into submission! LOL! Well, I'm sure your pirate always follows the above rules or he wouldn't be worth his salt~!

Its me

2005-09-20T08:41:00.000-07:00

ok sorry i havent wrote for a long time ive really had nothin to write about but i was told to write one so some people could read it but i really dont know what to write about so i think you guys should leave comments on suggestions on what you want me to write about or call me at 5644863 or email me Cj_the_dj_69@hotmail.com to give me some suggestions Collin

francy's party

2005-09-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

i hope this is not the last party we have with francy...she's going to usa next wed...n the chance she'll come bck to nz is very little...how sad...555555... we had a great party...sang k...altho didn't sing a lot myself...most of the time we were listening to andy...n most of the time i was eating n looking around n playing little games with dickson... the fun part was the sticker photos...n nancy accidentally changed one pretty photo to black n white...@#$!@#$!@#$@...o well...nvm...still pretty good la...n i've put the photos in the space...free to have a look n make some comment...i just looked a bit weird with the one with francy...anyways... wish francy to have a nice trip on wed...n have a wonderful uni life in usa...n hope she'll come back again someday...n thx for the comment in ur blog francy...

NOOOo

2005-09-19T08:45:00.000-07:00

Well im decided that im over sam, time to finda new girl friend.. I still care for sam just can't worry over someone who hates you so whatever.. Time for another ryhme Never was a thug, Just infatuated with guns, Never was a gangsta till i graduated to one, And got the rap of a villion, Weopan concealin, took the image of a thug, and kept shi* appealin, willin to stick out my neck for respect, if it meant life or death, Never lived to regret what i said, when your me, people just want to see if its true, if its you, whatcha saying what you rap is what you do, so they feel, this party and obligation i feel, when they see you on the streets, face to face, and your for real, the confrontation, this aint no conversation, if you feel your in violation, there aint no hesitation to get you killed, if you feel it, kill it, you conceal it, reveal it, being reasonable can leave you full of bullets, keep squezing till its empty, i just need a reason to give this triggaa good squeze

aahhhhhhauroraborealis

2005-09-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

sometimes when i'm here, so far away from everything i know best, i think of you almost the same way asi think of the aurora borealis. i keep flying around the globe, and every aurora season i make an effort to look for it, especially when flying over Alaska and Canada. such a beautiful sight, and every time it's a different one, different colors, shapes and a different beauty. once you spot it, it's overwhelming. it's that kind of thing you can't really compare to anything else you know. it makes me think of space itself, one of the things we know so little about, what's out there, and how a lot of people (myself included) would love to see it... float around space and admire that dangerous and deadly beauty. the aurora is like that, an overwhelming beauty. i keep looking for that beauty,wherever i go. your beauty, what i once saw and wish i could see for the rest of my life.

random meaningless...

2005-09-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

I have had 3 dr. Pepper's today and i'm still sleepy! thats quite odd... anywho!i am now declaring this my on line diary type thinger... which ppl can see... so i'll be lying most of the time... <.< >.> but thats okay... I have a stupid team activity thinger tomorrow... ooo what fun yep... i missed my bus today too cuz i'm stupid that way and junk like that... blah blah blah.... Only kewl ppl listen to techno... WOW the caffeine is kickin in! ^^ fun! Yeperdoodles... -_- and now its gone... i wonder how many ppl acutally read this shit... oh i know... no one. I need to get pix or some junk on here cuz i just do... and now i shall attempt to write some of my stories... cuz i have nothing better to do. Quote of the day "Life is too meaningless to care what other people think of you" -me- i talk too myself about life too much... but thats okay. Not really i just like saying that

Current Thoughts

2005-09-17T13:32:00.000-07:00

Lets see stars and lets see paradise, Lets see mars and lets ourselves suffice, Lets journey through extremities and climb our affinities, And lets do it all without moving a muscle, And set our minds free to do the hussle, As we dissolve reality with the last piece of the puzzle. -Me, sober too

Poor = Poor Service

2005-09-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

I go home in three days and I am actually excited, but on the other hand, I'm also scared. I've had way too much time to think during the busy traffic times of Cebu City and I'm kind of nervous about all that. I know I don't make sense, I hardly do. Every time I take a trip I realize something new about myself or about other people, sometimes both. It's crazy, you know, you always find out who your true friends are only when you leave them. They're the ones who keep in touch or at least wonder if you're still alive. Am I true friend? Some would say so, some probably wouldn't. I guess I'm into the whole not caring about what other people think stage again. Actually, I've kind of always been in that stage, sometimes it just hides away, but being here in the Philippines has just helped me realize it more. People here judge you by the way you look. We went to the market today and I was told to not wear "good" clothes so that I wouldn't get robbed and so that the people selling wouldn't over-price their goods. So I wore jeans and an "okay" shirt. Wow, it was amazing to see where the vendors' attention went to. My little sister obviously dressed up and looked, well, rich and I looked like I was her maid and sure enough, they gave her attention and not me. The funny thing was I was carrying more cash than her. I guess it's kind of like that everywhere, shallow people will always tend to the one who looks like they can afford more. Hmmm . . . that's just no life for me. If I could, and ifit wasn't so damn hot here all the time, I'd probably wear sweats orpajamas everywhere I went andlaugh at the people who don't give me good service when they think I'mpoor, only to come rushing to my very call when they realize, hey, she's kind of not from here,her money is in dollars, which here, is very good.Five dollars can buy lunchfor probably 6 people, a big lunch, too. I just hate how it's like thathere. Onlythe priviledged get really good service,it's nothow well you treatthe service, it's how much you can pay them. Definitely a capitalist country full of competition and run by money. I like being treatedlik I'm just amaid here, it makes me laugh inside, I know that's mean, but isn't it mean tonot treat the helper/maid equally? Wow, so not what I was originally thinking about, but I'm glad I thought of other things for a change. If ya'll are wondering why I'm on the computer a lot on vacation, it's cuz I'm keeping myself updated with my job opportunity. I've been offered two positions and I pray that my schedule doesn't hold me back cuz the job is mine as long as my schedule allows for it. I hope I didn't jinx myself by telling it out loud, but I'm so excited. This is seriously the job I wanted since my first day of school, since my first class at KU, believe it or not. Well, I guess it's only a second to becoming a doctor, but ya'll know what I mean. I'm gonna shut up now.

2nd 21st complete

2005-09-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Had kates 21st in Geelong friday night, was good fun. Went out to a few places after the pub, didnt get home till 5.30, then up at 8.30 !! It was then bacl to ballan to drop chris off, and back to Ballarat. I went to melb for lunch with the fam, and back to Ballarat for a cocktail party which was huge. Then we went to arms and had jager bombs all night !! It was a big weekend of driving and partys, and now im bored and hung over, sitting in my room with sketchy hands !

Nine Lives!!!!!

2005-09-15T13:32:00.000-07:00

I made this daggermaster (Jasmine)2 weeks ago. I'm trying to bring her to F50 without any death. She is doing great so far. Currently, she is on F41 only. The reason is that I wanther tobe ready for F49-bosses before she gets any future. Then I'll go all the way to F50. With this new dagger I found today, she can deal with Ogre Berserker, 1 0n 1,just lose about 50~70 vitality. Jasmine only has 32 defense right now. A pair ofgood boots like the WILDFLOWER is my next target. It shouldn't take long. The armor is the last, thenJasmine will be ready for F49 hopefully. Happy hunting to all and wish me luck!

Pain

2005-09-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

My shoulder hurts like a B*tch...I must have slept on it wrong...I can barely move it...AHH...I'm losing a friend...or have lost one...I don't know yet...Something that I did, and said, I guess I shoulda knew better though right? Anyway...too bad I don't drink...I need some icyhot...you got any? I'll be your best friend

Rod Stewart song in honor of my mom...

2005-09-15T08:44:00.000-07:00

I love this song. It is just a perfect memory of my Mom. She is a huge Rod Stewart fan. I also like the lyrics to this song. It is the perfect 'wanting' song. It is so sweet to think that anywhere you may go, there is someone out there that has a crush on you & it makes their day just to catch a glimpse of you on the train or the street...but definitely, not the stalking kind of crush! LOL! Outside another yellow moonHas punched a hole in the night time mistI climb through the window and down to the streetI'm shining like a new dimeThe downtown trains are fullFull of all them brooklyn girlsThey try so hard to break out of their little worldsYou wave your hand and they scatter like crowsThey have nothing that'll ever capture your heartThey're just thorns without the roseBe careful of them in the darkOh if i was the one you chose to be your only oneOh baby can't you hear me now, can't you hear me nowWill i see you tonight on a downtown trainEvery night, every night its just the sameOn a downtown trainI know your window and i know its lateI know your stairs and your doorI walk down your street and past your gateI stand by the light of the four wayAnd watch them as they fall, oh babyThey all having their heart attacksThey stay at the carnivalBut they'll never win you backWill i see you tonight on a downtown trainEvery night, every night its just the sameYou leave me lonelyWill i see you tonight on a downtown trainAll my dreams, all my dreams fall like rainOn a downtown trainWill i see you tonight on a downtown trainEvery night, every night its just the sameWill i see you tonight on a downtown trainAll my dreams, all my dreams fall like rainOn a downtown trainOn a downtown trainAll my dreams fall like rainOn a downtown train

Sugar Water Sheesha....

2005-09-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

On wednesday night, Sharon and I went to the Sugar Water festival at the ACC. Queen Latifa (who sharon didnt know could sing), Jill Scott and Eryka Badu (who she loves) = an amazing night! Even the accident we saw on the way (yeah we walked, cos hey it doesnt hurt to exercise :P) didnt ruin the night, although i will be looking twice before i cross the street (jay walking ano no for a while)! Thursday was kinda uneventful, i was at my parents place and so i kinda followed them arnd where ever they went. Friday on the other hand was one of the best nights i've had in a while... I guess I'll startat the beginning ( well yeah its a long story :P just likeALL my stories). I came back from myparents place in the morning and decided it was abt time i cleaned my room.It's weird how messy a room can get, even when u dont really sleep there anymore...Anyway so after cleaning i showered and ACTUALLY bothered to straighten my hair...by the time i was donei was starving....so then i was looking for Shoaib and figured Mr. sleepy pants was still in bed...so i tried waking him up the nice way...MSN nudges...but apparently he's smart...he turned the sound off..:S..so then i had no choice but to call...We ended up going to the P-ta-q ...and ordered the usual...it was actually REALLY busy we had to wait for our Shwarma's...not something i was in the mood for doing...i couldve eaten anything by then...it would have tasted amazing...ANYWAY...so then we went back...(did i mention it was raining??? and my hair, which took like an hour to do got wet? Grrrr Shobie!!!!!!!!!) hehehe so then we waited arnd..(with some chocolate cake and oreo ice cream..mmm...) for Caroline to get done with work...i was supposed to go to Vic Park with Sharon but i didnt cos Caro said she'd be coming arnd by 3/4....but she only got done at 5 :( oh well didnt matter... So then when sharon was back we went to Baldwin to have dinner...Rajiv came too which was really nice cos i hadnt seen him in a looong time(caro hadnt either)... We ate at Thai Paradise and the food was good (as usual) hehe...im not biased at all here....umm so then we got arnd to the ACTUAL plan for the night... Shoaib had wanted to go do Sheeshafor the longest time this summer and i told him abt this place i'd seen on Collegecalled Paaeeez (?) ....so we ended up going there and i really have to say the place was AWESOME...(in shoaibs words ofcourse lol) ...It was SO good that we ended up staying there instead of going to Milestones for dessert as we had planned earlier... We did "double apple" (?) which tasted pretty good...well im guessing it did cos its not like ive tasted b4 so i cant really judge it...ANYWAY...i loved it...Caroline thought it and something else was FCUKING hot..lol..oops...was that a secret? ummm...(thats revenge for telling Shobie my tickle spots..:P) Anywhoo...once we were done...like 3 hours later..haha we took soo long...it turned out the bill was a LOT smaller than we had thought (well Sharon had the highest guess) and so we all left feeling pretty good abt ourselves.... Caro and Shobie and I then thought we would go down to the Harbourfront to "catch some breeze" and everyone else went back home to bed...but by the time we reached Spadina we got lazy and decided to just go back to WW and eat more ice cream....and watch more family guy..... A few hours later i fell asleep....the last things i remember of the conversation we had was Shobie going " Guys please, no talking abt sex now, i cant sleep as it is" and that obviously got Caro and I started....muawahahahah....and then they thought it was funny to tickle me...umm yeah...nvr MIND.... Anywhoo...this is getting reallly long and im getting really lazy...soooo..thats it for this blog...i know its a little random in places but its not my job to make reading smooth so... deal with it! Bitchikins out!

Rocka!!

2005-09-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

OMG Rocka was sooooo much fun! Woke up at 5am! ouch. Scoffed some breakie, shoved on some clothes and was out the door! Arrived at school with hollza at 6ish and the we set off for Vodafone Arena. It was soooo early but everyone had so much energy, the atmosphere was great! We had 3 rehersals on stage which went well. We spent the day watching other schools perform, dancing to music and generally running round having fun!! Its like a giant party all day! Met some really cool people from other schools and generally everyone was really nice (trying to win the friendliest school award lol)! Coming up to the performance I started to geta lilnervous. We got hair and make-up done and my hair was teased and plaited all crazy and held in with atleast a full can of hair spray lol! Then costumes on as we watched other schools perform. We were the 7th school to perform and waited in the wings as Dela boys performed, the croud erupted, it was really off putting! eep. lol On stage was amazing, everything went perfectly! and....... depsite what everyone predicted....... WE MADE THE FINALS!!!!!

First off....

2005-09-13T08:32:00.000-07:00

First off, I have to say that I have been way too busy with work lately...my dad says I work insweat shop, which is funny, because that means he does too. But I am really upset that he has been working so much, he doesn't have a choice but to put in 12 or more hours a day. but, moving on from that....tonights topic. Once again, my favorite topic, girls. I was riding with one of my friends the other day when we pulled up to a stoplight next to a red convertible. But this wasn't just any red convertible....it was Jenny's mom's convertible. It wouldn't have been so bad, except for the fact that beside her mom sat her boyfriend, then jenny and her sister in the back. After noticing this fact I proceeded to tell my friend that this was the case and I shielded my face from their view...hoping they wouldn't notice me. Why did I do that? What am I afraid of or hiding from? The reason why I did this...after a long drive to clear my head and think about stuff this evening....I found that I did it because when I see people that I wasn't planning to see or I don't know how to speak to them or what to say...I just freeze up and feel akward...immediately afterwards though, I got this sick feeling in my stomach. I am trying my best to just keep her out of my head....and I truthfully for the past few months haven't had that bad of a problem with it. You know, I actually wrote a 4 page email to Jenny and it still isn't finished....I just have it saved as a draft and I will probably never send it. I just don't want to hurt her new relationship or put thoughts about us back in her head....nor do I need her back in my life. As much as it would be great to wake up and actually have someone that cares for me tomorrow, I know that there is somebody better for me out there. I once told a friend that I hate drama. Don't get me wrong, I love movies...and a select group of plays...but, I hate the drama that revolves around immature relationships. Half the reason for stress in high school....because of drama. But somehow, someway, no matter what I do....or who I try to be friends with, it still manages to find me. Ok, the next thing....just to say this really quick....if all 4 of the pages of that email mean nothing....and it never gets sent, the main thing that I want to say is this...Jenny, you sent me an email a while back which I never responded to. I didn't know how to and frankly, It hurt to even think of you at the time. It basically said that you were sorry and that you hoped that someday I could forgive you. I didn't know how to take that....if it meant that you did something wrong and you felt guilty for it, in which case I didn't know what it was and that was your way of telling me....or if it was something deeper.I can only imagine that it was something deeper, something possibly sincere. For what I will never know. But I am guessing that you meant the abrupt and cold end to our relationship which reaked havoc on my already baron and meaningless world. I make it sound so bad, gotta love english and literature classes with teachers that insist on senior level writing....lol....Well, I nonetheless forgive you for the end of the relationship. I really don't know what else that I have to forgive... Until lately, I didn't know how to truly talk to people. Yeah, I could carry my own and have a conversation now and then, but, when I have something I want to say, I can all of a sudden go ahead and say it....more often than last year. I am starting to be able to call people out on their mistakes and stop looking the other way. There was a point when we needed to talk jenny, and of all people, you weren't listening....and I found out it was your way or the highway. And later on, the both of us probably let pride get in the way of contacting each other, but it was more pain than anything for me. I didn't want to hurt you by saying I loved you. Heaven forbid you find out that this guy is head over heels in love with you. But, after all of that, all of the quiet lonely days, and countless tears...after all of the trips back and forth and every kiss....How could you ask me to forgive you for ending our relationship? it doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is that I really did love you, I forgive you, and most importantly...I hope you find a guy that can love you for who you are. One that can endure through a relationships struggles and give you strength when you are weak. I wish for your sake that you find what real love is, it takes a lifetime. I won't tell you that fake stuff like, you'll always have a place in my heart or I'll always be there for you....what I will tell you is that if you for some reason can't figure stuff out, if you need to talk to someone about something or just to clear your head...you know where I am. You'll probably never read this, unless its indirectly pointed out to you by a friend...but its here if you find it. The real reason why I won't say you'll always have a piece of my heart though...is because you ripped the whole thing out...I forgive you. Read my poetry blogs...I think you'll find them pretty interesting. I was invited to a banquet and award ceremony for a few of them...and offered a cd deal, also I was nominated for the who's who of poetry..... Coming tomorrow...the sonic girl....another one rips my heart out..... The Beginning. -Josh

bah

2005-09-12T13:29:00.000-07:00

I just now realized they want me to put a 'category' on this. I've got nothing. So I added one. It was pretty familiar, overall, considering it's been my summer job for the past two years. Except that they've moved to a much bigger office. Much nicer too. But takes some getting used to. Got to work around 10 and they didn't need me yet. Figures. So I went and sat in the breakroom until lunch. The drug representatives brought in a lunch today - you know, the usual so they can sit down with the doctors and PAs and hawk their new medicines in exchange for free food. Always the most unhealthy food you can get, though. Sometimes they let you order from a restaurant but not today - we had cold, soggy fried chicken which I nevertheless ate way more than anyone has any business eating. After that I spent the rest of lunch break checking some things online and spent the rest of the afternoon scanning charts. I think I'm getting used to it - I only have to go ask Lisa where something goes every few minutes, as opposed to seconds. I'm exhausted....was up until 2 AM on Ventrilo testing out different songs. There are two ways we could go with this: 1. Overdramatic. The classic choice if you want an overdramatic song is O Fortuna from Carmina Burana, but that's been done to death. Seriously, I've seen it at least five times already. 2. Ironic. You know, something really sweet and pretty. 3. Funny/Weird. I tried out a few of the songs from that Mexican techno CD...after all, that tutorial thing says the #1 element is a funny song. (Yes I know it's satire.) And look at that 'Internet Is For Porn' flash. The only redeeming element about it is the Avenue Q song. Which isn't even new. The musical's about a year old. And the first song that came to both of our minds was the Benny Hill theme, naturally. But that's been done at least *twenty* times. So right now we're looking at either something from the Nutcracker (Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy would be especially funny in my opinion), or some instantly recognizable classical song. Things I Need To Do: - Find some way to get rid of the Clear Channel select 'soft rock' that blares from the phone in the office they gave me. - Start writing. - Decide on a song. - Start writing. - Stop getting myselfinto arguments about religion, politics, or moral issues. - Did I mention writing? UPDATE: She always ceases to amaze me. Oh well. Time to go listen to some more instantly recognizable classical music.

Cheated In Worship

2005-09-12T08:52:00.000-07:00

It is Sunday morning - time for church. We carefully set aside our best and prepare to glorify God during this time in the week set aside specifically for him The children come first, we have seen to it that they are ready and all is in order as we continue to prepare ourselves for church. The breakfast has been served (?), the childrens shoes are taken off and put on the proper feet, the hair brushed, nails manicured, etc. Everyone gets loaded in the van and were off. Mother sighs, an exhausting start to Sunday morning! But soon our time with God will come as the little ones go off to nursery. Worship begins, the time has to come to praise his name, yet this little tug on your skirt is distracting you. You are reminded once again that the church nursery worker hasnt showed up for yet another Sunday. We retreat to the nursery again with this hollow, expressionless, aggravation simmering deep in our heart. We have been cheated once again in worship - our time with God has been sabotaged. We wonder sometimes why we even come to church! Sunday after Sunday we are cheated out of our chance to hear from and worship God. Does this scenario sound all too familiar? Maybe you havent had this problem. You are from a larger church with more responsible people and enough volunteers to fill the needs. Yet this nagging feeling has developed as you head from the nursery into church but you shrug it off rather than take a moment to recognize the source. After all, the time has come to devote this hour to the Lord but you cant concentrate for some reason. At services end we walk away with the stone of guilt hanging from our hearts as we gather our children from their various activities throughout the church building. Inadvertently we teach our children through our actions that we dont want them, that they arent valued in our relationship with God, that they dont have a place in the most important relationship in our life. We have been taught that they are an interference in our endeavors to get to know God when we should have been helping usher them into His presence. And what will the consequence of this action be? Take a look at a church full of anti-children sentiments. What a hindrance to worship they are! Where does this unkind judgment stem from? If we search the scriptures about children we find that they are called a blessing from the Lord. Yet we will allowed Satan to subtly lie to us by telling us we could get closer to the Lord if we pacified our children with games in children church, cookies, and crackers. We have failed to share our daily bread with our children Think about your own past spent in the nursery and examine the benefits of snacks, juice, and television over the privilege of learning to praise God by watching your parents. Will our children ever have memories like this to cherish? Think about this as you give a disapproving stare or thought towards a woman with a fussy child. Keep your eyes on the exit rate from church in the past several years and let us wonder why. Let us remember that it is one of the little foxes that spoil the vines. My Dear Sisters in Christ I am here to tell you that WE HAVE been cheated! We are deceived to think that we cant worship with our children by our side! WHO has told us this? Not God! I pray that you will honestly search these scriptures and meditate on them. Let us correct our grave mistake. Let us redeem our children for the Lord and teach them the power of worship on Sunday and everyday. Mark 10:13-16 Jesus blesses the children 2 Timothy 3:15 Timothy acquainted with the scriptures from childhood. Matthew 18:1-6 Jesus pulls a child from the crowd when he was teaching. Matthew 21:15-16 All children were present in the temple. P.S. No one said it was going to be easy.